*offer*

I feel at this moment in time that I am finally whole, that I am finally finding out who I am and learning more about life as each new day passes. Life for me is white Christmas trees with Wal-Mart ornaments, it's an Arab memory of sand and a world I used to know and love, it's that kiss on the forehead and a tally of kisses along side his drawing on yellow legal pads, it's watching my favorite show and wanting to watch it over and over again. Life is having time to write with nothing else on my mind, it's watching the rain outside but being safe and warm indoors, it's making my own decisions, it's cooking a brilliant meal, it's entertaining, it's a cosmo when I need to relax, it's my favorite song soaring from the speakers, it's Sex and the City when I really need it, it's reading a magazine, it's designing a project I really enjoy. LIfe is cookies and dark chocolate m and m's, and bringing the love of my life to my family gatherings. It's knowing he's the one, it's knowing with him I am never afraid, with him I am never alone. Life is being gathered up in blankets, it's helping someone you know really needed it, it's a long conversation with a dear friend, it's looking ahead and seeing myself in Paris, London, Barcelona, Madrid, Morocco. It's knowing someday, I'll be a woman that changes someone's life, knowing that I have goals and dreams and that I will succeed in them all. It's pictures and photographs that he takes that take my breath away, it's finding a way of life that is all our own, it's that one kiss before I go to bed and laying on his chest. Life is creating my own way, it's about faith and love, trust and courage. Life is about paving my own journey and learning along the way how to do it. It's about learning to trust me, learning who I am and accepting it. It's about finding my own reasons for living and learning how get to where I want to be and letting me make my own mistakes. It's about talking to people and learning, it's about falling and getting back up again. It's about a great cup of coffee and a winning hand of hold 'em. Life is about mistakes, and learning from them. It's about love and learning about it to make it better. Life is about moving on when you need to and holding on when nothing else makes sense. Life is about falling into a place, and then growing and finding a new place to fit into. LIfe for me is moving around, not settling into routine, not settling into the stereotype. Life is about finding colors in the earth, having a day just to paint some random wall, it's about doing good will and hoping for the future. It's about finding the love of your life and learning how to love, it's about finding twenty minutes out of the day and learning to sit and relax when you have a million things going on. It's about a risk you take, not knowing how it will be approached. It's about life, it's about faith, it's about love. Life is about living, about loving yourself and then others, it's about finding those few people that love you unconditionally and then branching out and finding out how far you can reach. It's about finding out who you are and then embracing all the world has to offer.

You

I’ve always been the one to do everything,
Always the one that creates a life,
Lives it and makes it all that it needs to be.
I’ve changed you, found you, loved you, but I’ve
Never needed you.

You’ve always been the one that they adore,
But I’m wondering what they’d do if they knew,
All the things that you do to me,
All the things I go through to be with you.

I’ve always been the favorite one,
And this life that we’ve created is more than asked for,
But I’m wondering how long I can be with it.
I’m growing up and you’re slowing down,
I’m moving on, you’re standing still.

And I need to move, I need to keep it going.
I need to be independent, I need to be loved,
Not needed.

It seems anymore that life is moving us apart,
And the words are changing who we are.
I have found myself, I have loved and lost,
I have grown into who I am,
Have you?

I’ve always been the strong one,
Always the one that takes what I have and uses it,
Creates something that I need and want.
I’ve changed you, as they say, found you, loved you,
But,
I’ve never needed you to be who I am.

EArth's Prayer

Sing along with the trees,
Embrace the power they spread,
The embrace they give,
The air they take under their breath.
Sing a song that no one else has,
Capture leaves in your fingertips
And snow on your face.
Watch the rain as it melts down this world
That we’ve created, then killed.
See the fog on the horizon and pray for peace,
For life and for love.

See the leaves over head, the footprints underneath,
And the warm breeze that never used to be there.
Watch as more and more come,
And less and less leave,
As the morning turns to night,
And the earth changes underneath us.

Sing for all of us,
Pray for light in the darkness we’ve created.
Keep life amongst the holy things,
Keep it locked and sacred, keep it real.

Sing along with the trees today,
Embrace them as our own,
Keep the rain clean, the oceans alive,
The fog from clearing. Sing along
With the wind, for it’s always been here,
In the prayers of the earth underneath us.

the passing

Remember when life was simple and when disappointment only lasted for a few minutes and then it was on to something else? Life was so much simpler when we were young and here we are now, sitting in this period in our lives where choices are perhaps the most difficult and the consequences greater, the disappointment lasting. There is no answer to what we do in these troubled times, just moments that we must find the strength to realize what we have, and what we don't and what we never will have. Sometimes we must find our nitch in this world, some place safe from all that we must encounter, sometimes we just need time to grow, time to learn about the world.

Disappointment is only one part of life, and we must learn to grow in it and see what we have over what we don't. We must look outside at the sun setting behind the hills and find the moments of strength, to look into the eyes of the one we love and to find comfort in their love, in their encouragement. It really is alright, even though it hurts, it really will pass.