Another Place

I have been reading a lot of books lately based in the Middle East, some in Afghanistan, some in Iran, some in Saudi Arabia. And when I read the words of these Arab writers, recounting their tales of times when life was different, I find myself remembering how much that world meant to me too. Often I find myself remembering what life was like when I was there, the people and the smells, the tastes and the things I saw. I remember the ocean at my feet, the hot humid days that warranted a stay inside. I find myself caught between my world now and the world of my childhood, I find myself feeling much the same as the Arabs to left their own countries in the times of chaos and came to this country. And really, how am I much different from all the rest, how different is it for me and some of these authors I am so respectively reading that left their countries for the freedom of America? I too left at an impressionable age, left a country that had been my home since I was born. It too was my country, my memories, my childhood. It too was all I knew, all I loved.

I find myself so caught in the middle of so much these days. I find myself caught in the middle of this so called "War on Terror," in the middle of ignorant remarks toward that part of the world and I find myself siding more with my childhood home than often with my country now. That place is such a part of me, ingrained within me and it's such a memory of that place that I find so comforting in the words of these talented writers I am reading. It is in their similar memories that I find comfort and remember a time when I too, like them, was a part of another place, another place that will remain with me forever.

Stand Up

I don't quite know what to say tonight, though I find the urge to write is stronger than it has been in a long time. And tonight, here in my apartment in a city that is kinder than most, in a country safer than many but not without its own misgivings. I sit here tonight in a nation enduring one of the most important political races of my generation, in a country engulfed in a financial crisis and in a world where children are being enslaved, in which genocide is occurring and where women all around the world have absolutely no freedom. I sit here tonight in my own comfortable life, in my privileged world and I write. I write because I don't know what else to do, I write because it is the only way to tell the world what I think, and to tell the world to stop sitting by and looking out the windows of our own lives, but to look around us and stand up for what we believe. I write as an Arab girl, as the only little blond girl in a sea of brown hair, I write as a young girl growing up in a country that many do not understand, under the green flag with the sword. I write as a Catholic, trying to find her faith in these chaotic times and as a woman entering a shaky job market soon. I write as a young woman, as a friend and a daughter, as a girlfriend and as a niece. I write as a sister, but most of all, I write to speak for all those of us without a voice. I write because it's the only way I know how to touch so many.

And as I sit here tonight, listening to those Arabic words that once were commonplace in my young life, I cannot help but write of our world and the state of it. I cannot help but write of the ethnic cleansing in Burma and the financial crisis here at home. I cannot help but write of the terrors of the Taliban in Afghanistan, or of the thousands of women, millions of women around the world that have no rights, that have no words to speak. I write for the girls that grow up not being able to voice their opinions, for the little boys that are given a machine gun at 8 years old. I write for the old women that have to watch their daughters and granddaughters bought and sold like slaves and for the good men that, no matter how hard they try, cannot fight hard enough for the rights of what their countries truly could be. I write for all those in our own country that have no idea of what occurs beyond our borders, let alone around the world. I write for those that have never seen the deserts of the Middle East or felt the terror of a war come into their country. I write for those Muslims that pray to Mecca and for all those Catholics that hold highest above all, tradition. I write for the child in an inner city school in New York that has no chance at affording college, and for the 60 year old woman still working because she can't afford to retire.

I sit here and write because I think these issues need to be known. I think that we are in a world where we can't just sit in our own little bubbles and pretend that nothing bad is going on. We are in a time in history in which our voices must rise to the skies, in which we must open our minds to different cultures, different religions, different ideals. We must agree to disagree and realize that we don't always have the right answer. I sit here in this dark room tonight, looking out the window at my own future, coming shortly and swifter than I ever imagined and I write. I write to give a voice to myself. I write to give a voice to all those around the world tonight that perhaps are sitting in the dark too, wondering how their voices will ever matter. I write because they do matter, I write because they are worthy to hear our voices rise for them, they are worthy of more than some of us.

I write because we are not alone in this life and we are not alone in this world. I write because perhaps in my words, the words of others will be heard as well. Perhaps in my words, others will hear them and others will stand up with me to fight against the injustice in this world. Right now, all I can do is write, but someday I will do more. For now, hear my words as I write them. Hear them and stand up for your beliefs, stand up for a cause, stand up for us all.

~Meant to Be~

Sometimes love doesn't make sense, sometimes it flutters in and then briefly finds its way out. Sometimes it's never really love at all, but rather a form of lust that we want to pretend is something more. Sometimes, we say we don't want that love, sometimes we pretend we are too busy to fall in love, or that we are too hurt to find it. Sometimes we push it away, but in the end, no matter what we say, love will always find a way in to our lives.

I was 18 when it found me, and from the very first moment that I met him, I knew it was real. There was something inside me that I just knew. There was something that made me realize that I couldn't let this go, nor did I want to. And over the months, we experienced so many firsts together and we grew together, found comfort in each other, helped each other heal and grow and above all, created a lasting friendship as well as a relationship.

And over the years, he is still the one I trust the most. Still the one that will love at me when I look my worst and tell me I'm beautiful. He's the person that I care for more than anything in the world and he's the one that I know will be by my side for many years to come. And with him, I have experienced, with him I have cried, I have laughed and I have fought. And while sometimes we don't agree on anything it seems, our obstacles have only made us stronger and our relationship has only grown through it all. Today more than ever, I see it so clearly. And while I hope to marry him someday, even if I don't, even if we just stay lovers our whole lives, then I will be fulfilled because I trust him with my whole heart and at the end of the day, I only want to be in his arms. HE is the one that will laugh at me and smile with me, he is the one that moves me and comforts me. And through all the adventures in my life, I know he will be beside me experiencing them with me.

Sometimes love changes you, sometimes it makes a different person and sometimes it moves you from one point in your life to another. Love stories come in all shapes and sizes, but the ones that truly mean the most are ones that have the bumps and bruises,the good and the bad and the ones that truly change people and that show that love is real, that it's here, and that it's meant to be.

*Always*

Baby it's you, it's us, it's now. I you that I always run to, that I always call first, and you that I just want to be with. It's you that buys me cupcakes and leaves me notes to wake up to. It's you that always finds me when I'm lost and you that I want to hold at the end of the day. It's you that moves me, that I find strength and comfort in. It's you that I am myself around, it's you that would hold my hand through anything. It's you makes me smile. It's you that I love and will always love.

Baby it's you that still is the only one I want to hold me and it's you that knows everything about me and that embraces all that I am. It's you that I love living with and it's you that I love to see and it's you that I feel like I'm supposed to be with. Baby it's you... it always has been.

Around the Corner

I miss how it used to be when life was simple, when I'd take naps in the afternoons on a cold winter day, when we'd go out for frosty's. I miss the days that seemed to last forever, and the days when I felt like I could do anything. I miss coming home every night and writing, and the long drives when I could afford the gas. I miss feeling invincible, I miss feeling sane, I miss feeling like I can do anything. I miss going home and making dinner, and the nights when I'd just sit at the desk looking out at the city pass me by. I used to feel rested, I used to have days off to spend with my grandparents, and evenings just sitting at the riverfront with no where else to be.

And while I have enjoyed every step of the way till now, right now I feel so tired. I feel so burdened, so rushed, so pushed, so manipulated. I love what I'm doing and I love where I am going, but being so young, I feel like I am pushing too hard sometimes, like I'm pushing more than I should. Life just gets keep getting busier and busier. It gets more hectic with each day that passes and I feel like I'm running from one place to the next. I need to stop and breathe and take a moment for myself. I need to come home and just hug you and smile, I need to take a nap when I can and I need to write at night. And sometimes it seems like there is no end in sight, sometimes it seems like this will never work. But then again, sometimes hope is right around the corner.

Vote for Hope

Once again and I apologize to those of you that are getting tired of the political blogs, but I can't help but pull it from my mind. As Americans we are in a very unique position as November gets nearer and nearer. In my mind I pray that we see Obama win big, that we see our country get the change that it desperately needs now. While in my hometown last weekend, a few different times conversations came up with people there that involved the election. First of all, when it came up, I was so glad because that means that people are interested in the election and interested in politics, which hasn't been much of the case for a while. But when the comments were made about the elections from these people I couldn't help but be so disappointed. I'm sincerely sorry if this offends anyone and I am only writing this to sincerely give my side of the story.

I was confronted with very uneducated answers to very complicated questions and came across some who really had no idea what they were talking about. I say this as a concerned young adult, as a registered Republican, as a moderate, as someone who has gotten a great education and someone that enjoys learning and as someone that always respects both sides of arguments. I say this as a woman, as an American and as someone with knowledge of other countries than our own, if Obama does not win this election, we are headed into another 4 years of war, of environmental destruction, and of political tyranny. We are headed into an era where women don't have rights with their own bodies, where our vice president is a disgrace to women, where our president is older than most of our grandparents. We are headed into 4 years with a presidency that doesn't have the same ideals that the majority of the nation does and a government that is so far out of touch with my generation, even though we have the potential to offer so much.

It was apparent to me after my visit to my hometown, (and I'm sure this is the case in many smaller towns), that America is vastly under educated and that through that lack of education, many Americans are voting without even understanding the underlying issues of this political race. These people are voting for things they don't understand and giving power to the politicians because they have no idea what to do, politicians that are using that lack of education to promote their own bank accounts. Comments were made to me about how Sarah Palin is worth voting for because she has "real issues" and those issues like a down syndrome baby and a pregnant 17 year old daughter make her "just like everyone else." Well perhaps that's true, but perhaps, like Obama says, "education starts at home," and perhaps Sarah Palin should be spending more time with her family and educating them instead of running for a position that she has no place in running for.

The state of our nation is truly at a turning point and it's this election that will put us over that tipping point on so many issues or that may let us reverse some of the damage we've done and move ahead in a positive direction. When you vote for Obama, you are voting for a man with values, a wife that is a strong and motivated woman, a duo that are educated, well informed and open to new ideas. You are voting for hope, for change, and most of all, you are voting for freedom, for morality, for change.

Vote for freedom, for morality, for a man that can move us forward and not back. Vote for someone that has years and years ahead of him to change the world. Vote for an educated man that can educate our country. Vote for strength and renewable resources for the future. Vote for endurance, for a healthier world. Vote for our planet. Vote for Obama.

Vote for hope.