Monday, June 25, 2007
A Bottle of Wine and a Sad Country Song
Do you ever find yourself watching from a distance? I get lost watching you from across the room, I find my heart racing when you smile my way. You are a dream that lasts forever, you are silent black and white movie that ends happily every single time. You are the one that shows me which path is right, the one that sacrifices it all so that I may have my rain. You are my rain. You are my riverfront view and a stormy afternoon with nothing to do. You are my weekends away and my Paris. You are a fabulous glass of wine and you are the only person that has ever wanted to know this much about my soul. You are my everything.... without you at the end of the day, I am nothing but another girl at home with a bottle of wine and a sad country song.
Just for Me
There is someone waiting for me in the rain,
someone smiling as the sun passes
through my eyes,
and as the street fills up momentarily for the traffic to pass.
There is someone waiting for me to look their way,
someone waiting all day to see me for the first time,
and then whisk me away to the home we have created.
There is someone that holds my hand no matter how cold
it may be and feeds my deepest aspirations.
There is someone waiting for me in the rain,
in the damp city streets,
someone that knows the fall changes me,
that knows how much the rain cures me.
There is someone waiting for me,
just for me.
someone smiling as the sun passes
through my eyes,
and as the street fills up momentarily for the traffic to pass.
There is someone waiting for me to look their way,
someone waiting all day to see me for the first time,
and then whisk me away to the home we have created.
There is someone that holds my hand no matter how cold
it may be and feeds my deepest aspirations.
There is someone waiting for me in the rain,
in the damp city streets,
someone that knows the fall changes me,
that knows how much the rain cures me.
There is someone waiting for me,
just for me.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Brilliant Presents
As long as I can remember my life has been about family. Growing up I found more solice in my family than in friends. In all honesty my frienships were just kind of fronts, lots of them never amounting to anything. And when my family fell apart, when it changed from being a protection against the world, I suddenly became more aware that family isn't anything. For most, it seems like the opposite occurrs: friends are what get you through the teenage years, family is what connects you later in life. For me, I didn't really come into my own until just a couple years ago, until I was out of the house, until I was on my own in a new place with new people. And suddenly in that time I came to find that my friends are now what keep me together, my friends are what mean the most to me in the world.
I have found out that family isn't always there for you, they have their own agendas, especiallly when you are far apart in distance. And while the love never leaves, it becomes a different kind of love. It becomes a more grown up take care of yourself kind of love. And when that love becomes something other than it was in childhood, I become more and more acute of how the love I have for my friends is changing me day in and day out. And here I am, two years ahead of where I was starting out and along the way I have met some amazin people that have changed my life. I have come to depend on them, I have told them things I would never be able to tell anyone else and they are what keeps me going day after day. So here's a little shout out to each one of them: they deserve every word written about them.
Nick: After finding you, after realizing that you are my soul mate, the person I am supposed to spend the rest of my life with, I have to come to depend on you, to confide in you like no one else. You are first and foremost my best friend in the entire world and without you, I would be lost. You are the only person I trust without reserve, the person I know that will always be there for me, even if not in person, you will make time to support me.
Alyssa: Where do I begin? Well I guess beginning with the fact that we didn't really get along at first and then as the years went by became best of friends. I'll never forget the days of you just showing up at my house to take a nap in the afternoon, your beloved candy drawer and that senior year when we grew even closer. WE've seen each other through a lot and in the years that I've known you, you've taught me more lessons that you could ever imagine. You are the total opposite of me, but in that we learned to find a balance. You were the friend that helped me grow up, the friend that I've become so proud of and the friend that got me through the high school years. You are a friend I will never forget, a friend that will always be part of my history and present and future.
Abby: For only knowing you for a year, you are the closest friend up here that I have. I can honestly say I have never laughed as hard as I have with you and everything from our nicknames to our stupid stories, I have fun with you every single time we're together. I can tell you anything and I appreciate you so much for not judging, for listening despite your feelings on the subject. I love you like a sister and I love how I can talk to you at any time and always come out of it feeling good. You are a friend that will stand beside me at my wedding and that will never stray far from my reach.
Brittany: With all the things we've done, all the stupid games we've played, all the talks we've had, you have only become a closer friend in the last year. And I've cherished our friendship so much because you have become one of my closest friends. Who knew? Who knew this is where we would be. And B, I am so proud of who you are and I respect you so much for being the person you are, you always hold your head high and go for it, something I strive to do. I love how much closer we've gotten and I know this is a little too sentimental for you, but if you are reading it... deal with it! haha
Don: For a friend that was the first friend in Portland, thank you for accepting me as I am. I'll always remember our freshman year and I'll always remember it being as good as it was because of you. You always can make me smile, you an always make me have a good time and for that, I am so grateful I met you. I am so grateful that we became friends because without you, Portland wouldn't be the same. And even though the distance has kept us apart more this year and it will in the future, our friendship still means a lot to me and I know that you will be one of the guys standing up with me at my wedding, you will be a friend that stays with me for a long time. Thanks for the wonderfl memories and for always making me realize how wonderful life is.
As life goes on, people come and people go. But these people are the ones that will never leave my mind and will always be a brilliant presence in my life.
I have found out that family isn't always there for you, they have their own agendas, especiallly when you are far apart in distance. And while the love never leaves, it becomes a different kind of love. It becomes a more grown up take care of yourself kind of love. And when that love becomes something other than it was in childhood, I become more and more acute of how the love I have for my friends is changing me day in and day out. And here I am, two years ahead of where I was starting out and along the way I have met some amazin people that have changed my life. I have come to depend on them, I have told them things I would never be able to tell anyone else and they are what keeps me going day after day. So here's a little shout out to each one of them: they deserve every word written about them.
Nick: After finding you, after realizing that you are my soul mate, the person I am supposed to spend the rest of my life with, I have to come to depend on you, to confide in you like no one else. You are first and foremost my best friend in the entire world and without you, I would be lost. You are the only person I trust without reserve, the person I know that will always be there for me, even if not in person, you will make time to support me.
Alyssa: Where do I begin? Well I guess beginning with the fact that we didn't really get along at first and then as the years went by became best of friends. I'll never forget the days of you just showing up at my house to take a nap in the afternoon, your beloved candy drawer and that senior year when we grew even closer. WE've seen each other through a lot and in the years that I've known you, you've taught me more lessons that you could ever imagine. You are the total opposite of me, but in that we learned to find a balance. You were the friend that helped me grow up, the friend that I've become so proud of and the friend that got me through the high school years. You are a friend I will never forget, a friend that will always be part of my history and present and future.
Abby: For only knowing you for a year, you are the closest friend up here that I have. I can honestly say I have never laughed as hard as I have with you and everything from our nicknames to our stupid stories, I have fun with you every single time we're together. I can tell you anything and I appreciate you so much for not judging, for listening despite your feelings on the subject. I love you like a sister and I love how I can talk to you at any time and always come out of it feeling good. You are a friend that will stand beside me at my wedding and that will never stray far from my reach.
Brittany: With all the things we've done, all the stupid games we've played, all the talks we've had, you have only become a closer friend in the last year. And I've cherished our friendship so much because you have become one of my closest friends. Who knew? Who knew this is where we would be. And B, I am so proud of who you are and I respect you so much for being the person you are, you always hold your head high and go for it, something I strive to do. I love how much closer we've gotten and I know this is a little too sentimental for you, but if you are reading it... deal with it! haha
Don: For a friend that was the first friend in Portland, thank you for accepting me as I am. I'll always remember our freshman year and I'll always remember it being as good as it was because of you. You always can make me smile, you an always make me have a good time and for that, I am so grateful I met you. I am so grateful that we became friends because without you, Portland wouldn't be the same. And even though the distance has kept us apart more this year and it will in the future, our friendship still means a lot to me and I know that you will be one of the guys standing up with me at my wedding, you will be a friend that stays with me for a long time. Thanks for the wonderfl memories and for always making me realize how wonderful life is.
As life goes on, people come and people go. But these people are the ones that will never leave my mind and will always be a brilliant presence in my life.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Morning Goodbye
Lay your head down,
sigh until there is no more breath
drawn from the lungs of life within you.
The night has drawn asleep now,
so lay down beside me and caress the night,
keep in skin deep and hold your head high.
Leave before the dawn, but return to me.
Fall asleep within my the shoulder of my mind
but do not leave without goodbye.
Do not leave
without
me.
sigh until there is no more breath
drawn from the lungs of life within you.
The night has drawn asleep now,
so lay down beside me and caress the night,
keep in skin deep and hold your head high.
Leave before the dawn, but return to me.
Fall asleep within my the shoulder of my mind
but do not leave without goodbye.
Do not leave
without
me.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Don't Let Go
I can't see the city anymore, but I don't need it. I can't find the lights anymore, but I don't need them to guide me. I don't have the strength anymore but I don't need it. With love here beside me, with prayers and faith in my heart, and a constant succession of harmonies in my soul, I'm okay. And for the first time in a long while, for the first time since it all, I have the strength to breathe. For the first time in a while I can honestly look out this window and feel like I am home, feel like this is where I belong, where I survive best.
And after a revelation, I only want to lay here with you. I only want to lay here beside your body and I want to know that in the morning you will be there, I want only to know that you will be there. I have no regrets, no secrets, no movements without you there. And in these twenty years there has never been someone to make me breathe like you do, never someone to take my very breathe from within my lungs. And it is you that can always see through the mess, your eyes that can always see through my soul, your eyes that see me, and only me and everything that I am.
It's how I learned to breathe. It's how I learned to walk again, how I learned to live again: through you. And inside my soul, it's you that never leaves, it's you that survives within my mind within every moment of every day. It's you that has the trust I give no one else, it's you that leaves me speechless and honest. It's only you that hears me when no words leave my lips, you that holds my hand no matter how cold it may be. I am stronger because of you, deeper because of you, better because of you.
And in all the twenty years I've lived, I never dreampt of this, I never thought it would exist. And while life only continues to swirl around us, it's only you that keeps me breathing, only you that keeps me found. You are the breathe in my own lungs, the moments and the kisses and the words and the memories that never die. You are that morning "I love you," the kiss before bed, the surprise on the streetcorner. You are diet coke in a wine glass, a 160 yard drive and a bogey on hole 3. You are lime in a diet coke, pf changs when nothing else sounds good. You are lime green and pink and black, you are "did you brush your teeth?" You are my 66 on a par 72, you are my hat turned to the side with your hand through your hair, you are an apple icard and an isight conversation. You are a townhouse in the pearl and my 72 hour weekend. You are every memory that's every meant anything at all and you are the only memories that will ever mean anything.
You are the one that Heaven gave to me, you are the one that belongs by my side, the one that I don't know who I am without. And when time runs out, when the sky turns that shade of gray, I will nothing but lay beside you and hold your hand. Because in the end, nothing else will ever matter besides us. Nothing will ever matter more than me and you. So baby, hold my hand ... and don't let go.
And after a revelation, I only want to lay here with you. I only want to lay here beside your body and I want to know that in the morning you will be there, I want only to know that you will be there. I have no regrets, no secrets, no movements without you there. And in these twenty years there has never been someone to make me breathe like you do, never someone to take my very breathe from within my lungs. And it is you that can always see through the mess, your eyes that can always see through my soul, your eyes that see me, and only me and everything that I am.
It's how I learned to breathe. It's how I learned to walk again, how I learned to live again: through you. And inside my soul, it's you that never leaves, it's you that survives within my mind within every moment of every day. It's you that has the trust I give no one else, it's you that leaves me speechless and honest. It's only you that hears me when no words leave my lips, you that holds my hand no matter how cold it may be. I am stronger because of you, deeper because of you, better because of you.
And in all the twenty years I've lived, I never dreampt of this, I never thought it would exist. And while life only continues to swirl around us, it's only you that keeps me breathing, only you that keeps me found. You are the breathe in my own lungs, the moments and the kisses and the words and the memories that never die. You are that morning "I love you," the kiss before bed, the surprise on the streetcorner. You are diet coke in a wine glass, a 160 yard drive and a bogey on hole 3. You are lime in a diet coke, pf changs when nothing else sounds good. You are lime green and pink and black, you are "did you brush your teeth?" You are my 66 on a par 72, you are my hat turned to the side with your hand through your hair, you are an apple icard and an isight conversation. You are a townhouse in the pearl and my 72 hour weekend. You are every memory that's every meant anything at all and you are the only memories that will ever mean anything.
You are the one that Heaven gave to me, you are the one that belongs by my side, the one that I don't know who I am without. And when time runs out, when the sky turns that shade of gray, I will nothing but lay beside you and hold your hand. Because in the end, nothing else will ever matter besides us. Nothing will ever matter more than me and you. So baby, hold my hand ... and don't let go.
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