Don't Let Go

I can't see the city anymore, but I don't need it. I can't find the lights anymore, but I don't need them to guide me. I don't have the strength anymore but I don't need it. With love here beside me, with prayers and faith in my heart, and a constant succession of harmonies in my soul, I'm okay. And for the first time in a long while, for the first time since it all, I have the strength to breathe. For the first time in a while I can honestly look out this window and feel like I am home, feel like this is where I belong, where I survive best.

And after a revelation, I only want to lay here with you. I only want to lay here beside your body and I want to know that in the morning you will be there, I want only to know that you will be there. I have no regrets, no secrets, no movements without you there. And in these twenty years there has never been someone to make me breathe like you do, never someone to take my very breathe from within my lungs. And it is you that can always see through the mess, your eyes that can always see through my soul, your eyes that see me, and only me and everything that I am.

It's how I learned to breathe. It's how I learned to walk again, how I learned to live again: through you. And inside my soul, it's you that never leaves, it's you that survives within my mind within every moment of every day. It's you that has the trust I give no one else, it's you that leaves me speechless and honest. It's only you that hears me when no words leave my lips, you that holds my hand no matter how cold it may be. I am stronger because of you, deeper because of you, better because of you.

And in all the twenty years I've lived, I never dreampt of this, I never thought it would exist. And while life only continues to swirl around us, it's only you that keeps me breathing, only you that keeps me found. You are the breathe in my own lungs, the moments and the kisses and the words and the memories that never die. You are that morning "I love you," the kiss before bed, the surprise on the streetcorner. You are diet coke in a wine glass, a 160 yard drive and a bogey on hole 3. You are lime in a diet coke, pf changs when nothing else sounds good. You are lime green and pink and black, you are "did you brush your teeth?" You are my 66 on a par 72, you are my hat turned to the side with your hand through your hair, you are an apple icard and an isight conversation. You are a townhouse in the pearl and my 72 hour weekend. You are every memory that's every meant anything at all and you are the only memories that will ever mean anything.

You are the one that Heaven gave to me, you are the one that belongs by my side, the one that I don't know who I am without. And when time runs out, when the sky turns that shade of gray, I will nothing but lay beside you and hold your hand. Because in the end, nothing else will ever matter besides us. Nothing will ever matter more than me and you. So baby, hold my hand ... and don't let go.