Stormy Weather

Do you really know my name anymore or is it just a moment on the tip of your tongue that slips away? You do not love me like you used to, you do not know the way I live or who I am or how I am so lost. You don't even whisper to me when I am in trouble, nor to you turn aside from him to see me. You do not measure up to the woman you used to be or come close to being the mother I once knew and loved. I feel like nothing in your presence and I feel like sand that you pick up and toss around just to humor yourself. No more am I your daughter, no more do I lend you this respect. I am lost, I am questioning, I am finding who I can trust and who I cannot. I am no longer who you thought I was, that much is clear. So wrapped in guilt, so hidden by fear, you stay there in your little shell you've created, rather he's created, and you say nothing, do nothing. But here I am, your only and eldest daughter, your friend, your beloved first child, your blood and I am here, holding on to nothing but myself on this cold autumn night. I am here, lost, lonely and afraid and when a child needs her mother most, you are not here. But in reality, you haven't been here for a long while, you have abandoned your child when she needs you the most. I am lost, misplaced and an orphan against the sea of storms heading my way. Do you dare turn away from me again, dear mother have I not been through enough of these storms? Must I bear ahead once more, all alone? I cannot take the rain anymore.