done

She held my hand through my darkest years, she was the one that I sat on the phone with crying the night away in my tiny closet when no one else would listen, when I had no one else to turn to. I sit here tonight, broken inside, such a high then such a low. She needs to open her eyes and tell me what is going through her mind, why she left everyone behind, why she has cut everyone out and why she didn't even bother to tell me, why I was the last to find out. I feel betrayed and hurt, the loyalty I thought we had I guess meant nothing to her. I am tired of doing all I can for people, being there for them whenever they need a shoulder to cry on, advice to be given and I am so tired of dealing with everyone else's problems when I have plenty of my own to deal with. I'm sick of hearing about them build themselves up and then tell me that I am like them... I am NOTHING like them and I swear to God that I will never be like them. They have never done anything that I look up to and while I love them, I do not aspire to be like them. I do not want to live their lives and I am done telling either of them what I think or how I am feeling because they use it as ammunition toward me to one another.

I am 21 years old, I should be enjoying what's left of my young adult life and not worrying about this feud between my aunts and my grandparents. I have no need to be in the middle of it, neither do I want to be in the middle of it. They have their issues that they've had for so many years that I personally don't care to relive it over and over again. I am done listening to it, I'm done dealing with it, and I'm done talking about it. I am sincerely hurt and it's something that is going to take more than an email to fix. I don't care anymore, they can sit on their high horses and cry and gossip and say that nobody listens to them, but they are the ones that have always gotten exactly what they want. Ironic how the girls that had everything handed to them, ended up like this?