plans

I never expected to be here. I never thought my life would be at this point, at this juncture, this moment in time. My whole life I believed that I was going to be that independent single woman, the one with the fancy apartment and the amazing job. I always thought I'd get married, but not this soon in my life, not like I see it happening now. I've never been the girl that fails, the one that acknowledges her fears. I've always gone with the flow, taken the path and seen where it leads me.

But here lies the confession: I am scared. I am scared that life came at me from all angles and that it's too soon. I'm scared that I'm losing that independence I always admired in myself. I'm afriad that what I want to do in my life,what I've always dreamed of doing and all that I had planned will not happen, I'm afriad that what I want will all be washed away in the scope of things. My fears are real and I am confessing to all that will listen. Life seems right at my doorstep, right in front of a girl still trying to accept all that's been dealt to her.

I will say this: I am so deep in love that it scares me sometime, it scares me that it came so fast, it scares me that life moves so quickly. It scares me that love is so fragile, so hard. I want nothing more for my life to begin, but at the same time, it scares me to death to be at that stage.