rant

I really don't feel good... my throat is constantly hurting more tonight and i think it's not because of the strep throat I just found out I have, it's because I'm just tired of the routine, the same old shit, the same fights, the same little things over and over again. It's like a constant pain in the back of my throat, a constant reminder of something. And I can't help but link that to the past week for me. HEre I am, almost done with this quarter that no one seems to understand how hard it was, almost time for MY break, MY time off from everything. When everyone else has time all the time to just do what they want, time to play with friends, time to watch tv and movies all day and then crunch in homework at the end of the day when all i have is that time to spend with others. I'm sick of going from school to work and then coming home to homework. I'm sick of then coming home to pick up after everyone else and then complaining and feeling like its my fault. I'm tired of feeling guilty about the time I'm away. I'm sick of no one understanding. I'm tired of being counted on for everything, by everyone! I'm tired of being the daughter that has to take her day and drive home, tired of being the friend that constantly has to answer questions for everyone else and then being taken advantage of, I'm tired of being responsible for making plans, for making dinner, for cleaning up and doing everything. I'm tired of not having any time to have any fun for myself. I'm sick of going to classes that have no point and then coming home to do homework that has no point. Taking tests that don't really need to be taken and having nothing go right. I'm sick of feeling guilty for sleeping well, thinking its my fault that others don't. I'm sorry that I ask to be picked up, that I may be two minutes late and that you might have to wait. My bad. I should always be perfect, I should always be on time, I should always get A's, I should always have a clean apartment and clean yours in my spare time. Ha, my spare time. I'm tired of spending so much god damn money, I'm sick of the routine, the time that I actually have to ask to spend with you. I'm tired of having to give attention to everyone around me, I'm sick of feeling guilty for the attention I do get. I'm not perfect, nor do I want to be. I do not have immunity to things like this. I am SICK, TIRED, STRESSED, ANNOYED, ON EDGE, IMPATIENT, and I don't care what any one thinks: I need someone to understand.