I dont know exaclty what I'm feeling right now but I know I am restless for something to change. I am on the edge of NEEDING change, needing something to look forward to, needing life to slow down and give me some time to think. I am restless here in the city that I love so very much and I am restless with the life I know now. For some reason, tonight, I want more than anything to just sit and watch the sun set on some beach or out in the country somewhere. I am restless in this routine I call my life. And while I love the routine, I just need something more right now. I look back on all the memories, on all the steps that got me here and I see so much magic, so much wonder, so many wonderful memories, I can't halp but want those to begin again.
And right now, as my mind is clouded in this restlessness I feel, all I want is to have some time somewhere new or somewhere that I feel safe. I feel so vulnerable at the moment, and in that vulnerability, I feel like I'm losing myself to something out of my control. I don't know exaclty what this is, but I know that as the rain clears, I can't help but feel a little bit lost, I can't help but feel a little bit broken. So as the rain clears and the trees start to glow in the evening light, I will sit here and stare out of the future of my life in these windows and pray that my restlessness will stop and that soon I will feel safe again.
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