Sometimes the people that are closes to us can't see what is killing us, sometimes they don't understand what is upsetting us. And here I am, once again on the outside of a world that I can't seem to break into, a world that you used to let me into,a world that you used to want me to be a part of. And here tonight, once again I feel so alone, so lost against this wall you are putting up with me. I have tried so hard to break into it to help you and to understand, but anymore, you won't let me in. Rather you stick up for those that I can't stand and rather than letting me in, you continue to push me away.
Today of all days, I need someone to talk to. Today of all days I needed you, today of all days, I felt closer with a boy I used to love, rather than you. Today I felt helpless, lost and alone and yet you continued to put up your wall and push me farther and farther away. Why must you push me away, when all I ever wanted was to hold you hand and be part of your world.
I'm so tired of apologies, of people telling me they are sorry. And if I learned anything today I realized that I am not going to put up with it anymore. Apologies might bring forgiveness but it doesn't make it okay. It doesn't end the hurt that it caused me.
Why can't you see that you continue to hurt me, that you continue to block me out when I need you the most? I don't know what to do anymore; I guess it's out of my control and I should just stop trying.
1 comment:
please don't stop trying. I want you in my world more than ever. You are amazing, and I am so proud of how you handled yourself today with the problems at school. I really appreciate you taking the time to spend time with my friend. You are a true soulmate. I love you and want you in my life close and part of me more than ever. You complete me my love, not the other way around. Remember that.
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