Third Culture kids... finding "home"

I have always felt different from everyone else around me, and it's been something that I've felt since I was 12 years old, since the first day I stepped off the airplane and became American. Even though I had an American passport since I was born, my Saudi birth certificate always seemed to resonate with me more. I've been saying since I moved to the States that I never knew quite where "home" was for me. I've never known quite what to say when people ask me where I'm from, where "home" is. And the honest truth is that I still to this day don't know, still I'm unsure of what to say. What I feel in my heart is that technically, I've never really had a "home" as many Americans have, it's not the same. I've had "homes" and they have been all over.

It's interesting because for the first time I googled my situation and it turns out that psychologists even have a name for what I am: a third culture kid. There are studies and experiences and articles about kids like me, about kids that grew up somewhere abroad, about kids that never really find a "home."

For the first time in a long time, it gave me such peace to read those articles and those experiences of other like me. Growing up here in the States has brought me some rather difficult years, many in which I felt that my experiences abroad made me somewhat different than everyone else. It took me a long time to come to peace with who I was, and I think that stems from the differences, from no one understanding that while my passport says I'm American, I feel much more like the world is my home, that while I may live in the States right now, I won't be here forever.

For years now, I have been searching for a definition of who I am, for something to classify myself as, for something to show the people in my life that don't understand that there are others like me out there and that what I feel really is real. I was reading one of the articles that I found and it mentioned how third culture kids seem to click right away with others from backgrounds abroad like theirs and it suddenly hit me. In my life, I always do click right from the start with others like me, with others that have lived in another country, with others that have international backgrounds.

And this morning, as I feel like I have finally found a classification of my experiences, after years of searching and trying to explain it to others, I feel like I have suddenly found out who I am all over again. So as March approaches and my career begins, I hope to continue my journey as a third culture kid and find a new country to share my story with and new people to discover who I really am, a young woman with a Saudi birth certificate but with an American passport.