Eiffel Tower Dreams

Tonight as the rain pours down outside, my heart is once again at peace. And after a long day with family, family that I trust, that I adore and that inspire me, and a peaceful drive home to the city that has shown me who I am, I am realizing that these past four years have shown me more love and blessings that I could have ever imagined.

I have learned that no matter where you think you'll be, you'll end up somewhere else. That no matter how much you think you know, you can always learn more and that no matter where you think the road leads, there are always detours on that path. I don't know where I'll be in a year, in two, in ten. I don't know if I'll be married, if I'll be in the States or if I'll have found what I'm looking for. I don't know if I'll have stood under the Eiffel Tower and smiled, or if I'll have had my first job, my first apartment paid for all by myself. I don't know when those things will happen, I don't know if I'll have accomplished what I wanted to, and I don't know what detours I'll encounter on the way.

I do know that so far in my life I have been blessed by so many things. I know that I have learned lessons in my 22 years that many live to 50 to never see, I have met people that have changed me, and I have loved and lost, I have done things I never thought I would but that define who I am. I have stood up for myself and what I believe and I have made something of myself, all on my own.

And that is exaclty what I intend to continue to do. I don't know where my road ends up, and I'm happy that I don't. I don't know what speed bumps I will hit or when I will have to find another road, I don't know if I'll get everything I want or if I'll keep the faith I have now. I don't know anything about where I'm going, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I think that sometimes life has to be that road with no road signs, that we drive just by feeling and that we make it on our own. I've never been one to take the easy way out and I won't ever let myself fall to that. Sometimes that storm that batters us down, is the best thing that ever happened.

So as I sit here tonight, contemplating where I'm at and where I'm going, I know that I am lucky. I know that I headstrong, that I will get to where I want to be, but I won't put a number on it, I won't make myself a schedule for success and I won't lay out my life like a timeline. I know that someday I will get married, someday I'll buy my own apartment in some city, out there some where. I know that someday I'll stand in Cairo and Morocco and all those places that I know I'll visit. I know that someday I'll find that piece of myself that I need to find and that someday I'll have someone looking up to me. I know that someday I'll stand under the Eiffel Tower once again and smile, remembering all those years ago that I stood there and dreamed those first dreams that I always knew would come true.

So as the next chapter of my life begins, I have no idea where I'm going, no idea what I'm up against and no idea how I'll get where I want to be, but it will happen. It will happen because I know it will and I have faith in myself enought to know that I can get there.