Can't Give up Me

There are things in life that must happen. Things that must occur in order for us to live the lives we're meant to live. There are moments that must pass, and moments that must take your breath away. There are dreams that must be fulfilled and there are memories that must be forgotten, or perhaps not all but forgotten, but tucked away where they can't hurt us anymore. There are nights that must pass slowly and there are days and weeks that must fly by in the blink of an eye.

I can't believe how quickly time is flying by, how quickly the months are passing and soon the years will be gone, the opportunities that I always wanted lost to the passing time, if I don't do it now, if I don't chase those dreams, if I don't experience all of the world that I want to, one day I will wake up and time will be gone. One day I will wake up and those dreams will be dead.

So I hope you understand that nothing has ever meant more to me in my life than those dreams I've always had. They are what keep me alive and going, they are what put me to sleep every night and what get me up in the morning. Those dreams are the dreams that drive me, the moments that take my breath away and the feeling inside my heart. I hope you can see that if I give that up now, if I secede those dreams that make me who I am, if I relinquish all that I control to what makes me myself, then I give up my soul, I give up the life that I want and need and love.

I give up me.

And I'm at a point in my life that I don't want to give myself up, that I don't think that I should have to. I want to go out and live, and grow and experience the world and not feel guilty about that. I want to travel and live and love and enjoy every minute of it, never having to be somewhere else or feel like I should be doing something else. This is my time to feel, to breathe, to live, without pressures, without responsibilities, without regrets.

And I need to be me and no one else, and I need to move ahead and I need to follow my dreams. And I need to do what I want for once, and to follow my heart, and to pray and to feel. I don't want to give it up right now and I won't for a while, if I ever do. I can't nail down an answer yes or no, I can't tell you I'll be back because I don't know if I ever will, I can't tell you that I will outgrow this, because I don't know if that's true. I can't give up on what I want and neither should you.

I can't give up on me.