Every Moment

There are so many moments in my life that I remember like they were yesterday. Some were good, some bad, some were unexpected, some exhilarating. And as I sit here tonight in this apartment that was supposed to be everything I ever wanted, I feel all those moments all over again. I have been especially reminiscent today, especially remembering all those tiny moments that changed my life in some way or another.

I have learned so much in the past year, and I think I have changed considerably in who I am and what I believe because of what has happened in my life. There are no answers to exactly why things happened the way they happened, but they did happen for some specific reason and I sit here tonight for the same specific reason.

There are so many things that my life has showed me this year, so many things that seem to be pulling me in your direction. So many moments lying here at night, looking out over the thousands of lights, over the dark ocean toward where you are and needing you to just love me, to want me forever, to know that I'm the one, to know that I am worth the risk, worth the adventure, worth everything we could have together.

I can't help but feel such a mix of emotions tonight. I'm unsettled, afraid, anxious, restless, emotional, tired, and calm. But the one emotion that conquers them all, is love. All I need tonight is for you to love me, to know that I am worth every second, every risk, every moment.