Insignificant

The years go by and we progress through the stages of our life. Some of us become women that will change the world, others become mothers, others become women passionate about their dreams, others still become the women all around us, that perhaps don't fall into a certain category, those that are our friends, our mentors, our mothers, grandmothers and sisters. And throughout our lives, we are told to be strong, to love whole heartedly and to dream. We are not told that no one will ever live up to our expectations, or that we will have our hearts broken over and over, or that most of the things we want will never come true. And perhaps we aren't ever told those things because it's the way that we keep going, having to figure that out for ourselves.

Why do we make things so complicated? Why do we grow up believing in all the love stories, but never realizing that what we don't see is the real ending. We always see up to the point where the romance is all you see, and the movie ends. We don't see how hard the next part is, we don't see what it takes to make it continue to work. We don't see all the moments afterwards, all the things that make you want to leave, that make you want to find your own way. And it's that belief in love I think, that makes us keep going, that belief that hopefully somewhere out there, someday things will be different.

I don't know what to believe anymore, I'm not sure I believe in anything. I'm at a point in my life where I am so frustrated. I'm frustrated with who I am, and what I haven't accomplished. I'm frustrated with the purpose of my life, with my city, with the events that have happened. I used to believe in my dreams, in hopes for a fantastic future, for moments that would take my breath away, and all I feel now is that I have worked so hard to get here, and I feel unimportant, un-extraordinary. Insignificant.