here i am, 19 years old

here i am, 19 years old today, an age where i am on my own but still with many connections at home. i feel like today i am more of an adult that ever before though still young in my heart at times. but here i am, sitting with my beautiful dog maggie, in a home that has always cared for me, and though i've had many negative times in my life, the past few months being a part of that, i can't complain at all right now. i have everything i've ever wanted or needed and deep inside my heart there is no regret, no fear, no apprehension. and i used to read a few blogs written by people i knew, writing that is always negative, always unsure and i found comfort in them, knowing that someone else was an uncomfortable, unhappy as i was. but now a days, i don't enjoy them for the literary works they honestly could be, i don't find any comfort in them or any acknowledgement either, for i don't know what they are feeling anymore. i don't have any of those old familiar feelings of hurt, guilt or tragedy in my life anymore, none at the moment. life is pretty damn good and i just can't believe that i am 19 years old today, it's so unreal to me to think about that. and as i think back, this has been one of the best birthdays i can ever remember. so thank you to all of you who were a part of it, however big or small your part might have been. i appreciate each and every message, each and every gift, every thought, they truly meant so much to me, and i was truly touched that you cared enough to take the time for me. thank you; it meant the world.