abandoned

Sometimes life hands us something and in the wake of that challenge, we find out who truly will be there for you. We find out we can't handle all that we try to, we find that in the wake of a challenge, all we have left is ourselves, however damaged that may be. And in ourselves, we find that though the appearance is the same, we are breaking down inside. Never have I felt so powerless, never have I felt so tired, physically and emotionally, becuase of the challenge ahead of me. And I am hurt, hurt becuase of being here alone, hurt because the closest person to me is not here for me, not beside me in my time of need.

I find myself so many time during the day just staring out the window, wondering why this had to happen to me, why I deserve to go through this, why he's not here? And I cant help but answer those questions thinking I've done something wrong, that it's because of me that all this is happening, that I must go through this alone.

Nothing makes sense right now, my mind is elsewhere, my heart misplaced. And inside, I feel dissheveled, broken, abandoned. I feel like the people that should know cannot because they would not understand, and the people that do know, the person that should be here beside me right now, is not becuase of his own reasons. And whatever the situation may be, I feel totally alone, so lost, and left behind, a feeling that is all too familiar to me.

There comes a time in life, that everyone must decide where they priorities lie. I guess everyone's priorities are coming out now, even though other people get left behind in the process.