paving a path

Here we are, plunging head first into the real world ahead of us. Some of us are stopped at red lights that will never turn green, others are speeding along at 100 miles per hour, too fast to stop themselves at the other end. And then there are those of us in the middle, stopping patiently at each road sign, yielding to the oncoming traffic, those of us the know where we are headed, but that are taking our time on the scenic route of life. There are those that keep driving, hoping to find that road sign that will tell them where to go and there are those that drive aimlessly, not caring who's path they enter upon.

You know, we are only 21 years old, some younger, some older, but in the scheme of things, life is just beginning, life is no where near the responsibilities we want to place ourselves inside of. What happens when we we look out the window one day and wonder where we would have been, what happens when find out what our dreams are but can never accomplish them? So many of us are so quick to say what we want, to "know" it for sure, and believe me, I have been so many times and as I look back on the past few years since I've been on my own, I can't help but laugh at myself, at how serious I thought I was, at how mature I thought my life was. And still, as I have become more and more on my own, I have no idea what real life is really like, not yet, not just quite yet. And along the way I've found out so much about myself, but I've also lost a lot of who I used to be.

And I think that the losing and the gaining is normal, and its the merging of your old self and your new self that become the piece of who you are, along with what you do and what you stand for. There are moments that dreams seem like they in our finger tips, moments when it seems that nothing could go wrong, moments when you smile because of no particular reason, but do not confuse those moments with what real life is. Because as we grow, real life becomes all the more real, all the harder, and yet, through it all, all the more beautiful. I've come to realize that through the fighting we see each other so much clearer, through the hardships we learn so many life lessons and through the struggles we find which road we are supposed to be on. We find those road signs we need to continue on through growing up and sometimes, we have to follow those signs on our own. Sometimes we cant have someone else to follow us, sometimes we have to be selfish and to do it on our own and I truly believe that doing those things on your own, growing up following your own heart and your own dreams, and finding out about real life is the most important thing in the world.

I have been thinking a lot about all of us lately, about my close friends, about those people that I share this life with, those people that get through each day, whether it's a cosmopolitan after a long week, a Starbucks run in the middle of the day, or a night home cuddling and watching our favorite tv shows, it's those people that understand me best and that have created the journey I'm on. But at the same time, I must do it on my own, as must we all, do it on our own, before we find the road that meets us with someone else. We have to pave our own path before we can join someone else's.