I love you Mom

I miss you, I miss talking to you. I wish we were closer, nearer in distance and in spirit. For I miss our talks, your smile, your laugh. I miss the way you look at me and I miss trusting you. I wish you would've shown me that trust; I wanted you to stand up for me, who I am, who I was, but you didn't. And though I could never not love you, I lost a part of you that I had always kept. I miss being "us," I wish I could repeat last year, grow even closer to you, with the time we had. But it's done, that year is gone, and he took you away from me again. I know you trust me, I do, but it wouldn't hurt to show that every once and a while. Please know that I love you with all my heart, you were once my best friend, who I told everything to, but now that's gone, lost in the drifts of life. I miss you, I miss being around you and I miss singing in your car, making you cd's, and talking on all those long drives home. And yes, Mom, I have changed. But I have grown up and you know, I wish that that wouldn't have driven us apart. I miss seeing you everyday and just hearing your voice on the phone isn't enough, it's not the same. And even though I shouldn't, I will always blame him for taking you away, taking your trust away from me. I know that if it was just you and me it would be amazing, perfect always. I do love you with all my heart, I only wish that I could see you every day, that I could talk to you about anything in my life. But I can't, you're busy with your own life, moving on, Jamie, work, dinner, errands, I know you're tremendously busy and I award you for that, you do it all with ease and skill. But somehow I feel like now I'm just another thing on the list, talking to your daughter at the end of a busy day. I wish things were different, I miss you, I miss you so, so much. I love you Mom, I always will.

*the internet*

There was a moment this morning when I saw for the first time all my faults, flaws and regrets in detail. I was reading an entry of someone's that made me realize that we are all the same, we all are scared, we all are unhappy with ourselves and that we all wish somehow things were different. This entry was by a girl that I barely new in high school, but a girl who always I found intriguing. I never knew anything about her, I never got to see who she really was, how she struggled, what her layers were like. And I find it ironic that now through this wonderful thing we call the internet we can know more about those people that we barely know in real life. I have found out more about her, about my friends, about crushes, about life through the internet. You find what people truly feel, there is no lying, no faking, because what you write, everyone sees the same thing, you cannot hide yourself. And besides that, when you write something, it can be interpretted a hundred different ways. Words become motives for interpretation; lies become apparent; truth becomes a blog for strangers and friends alike to see your weaknesses, your life, your deepest self. So the internet is truly a place where truth becomes a necessity, lies are known to everyone. It is a place where a word or two can mean something entirely different than you wanted it to, or meant it to. You can see that people read your messages, even if they do not respond to them, leaving you to wonder, why have they not responded, is it me or them? It shows us if people are vain or if they are modest, it shows us how we are all the same. It gives us confidence as people comment on our beauty, our intellect, our intelligence, our talents. And it gives us a place to express ourselves, our fears, our frustrations at a time in our lives where those things run rampant around us. So I have to think, that without this amazing, intricate, addictive part of our lives, where would our generation be? What key does the internet play in our lives, a huge part of our day to day lives. So remember that the next time you enter your password and sign on, that lies can be no more in this cyber world and the truth is open to anyone who wants to read it...

I'm not afraid of anything

I thought this was very appropriate for the way I've been feeling lately... but I have come to realize that I shouldn't be afraid, I should be anxious and I shouldn't be hurt, I should be appreciative of all I've been through, a lesson learned with each... so here in these words I feel comfort in knowing that I have a ton to look forward to, that my life is only just beginning and that I have a whole new life just beginning...

I'm not afraid of anything
I just need to know that I can breathe
And I don't need much of anything
But suddenly suddenly

I am small and the world is big
All around me is fast moving
Surrounded by so many things
Suddenly suddenly

How does it feel
To be different from me
Are we the same
How does it feel
To be different from me
Are we the same
How does it feel

I am young
And I am free
But I get tired and I get weak
I get lost and I can't sleep
But suddenly suddenly

How does it feel
To be different from me
Are we the same
How does it feel
To be different from me
Are we the same
How does it feel

Would you comfort me
Would you cry with me

I am small
And the world is big
But I'm not afraid of anything

How does it feel
To be different from me
Are we the same
How does it feel
To be different from me
Are we the same
How does it feel
To be different from me
Are we the same
How does it feel
To be different from me
Are we the same?

How does it feel
How does it feel
You're different from me
Different
How does it feel
How does it feel
You're different from me
Different

...waiting for me...

We all get hurt in different ways and it takes longer for some to recover than others. But today as I started to get stuff together for this new chapter of my life, I realized that I am done with the hurt and frustrations of this summer. And while I have been through a lot this summer, I've cried a lot, been scared to move on, I now have realized that there is nothing to be scared of. I saw today that there is so much out there for me, so much that I never even knew was there or that I might enjoy or come to love. But honestly, I still am having a harder time getting over the recent fight I had with my dad, and I haven't spoken to him since. Though I want to see his point, I fail to see the truth in what he said to me. And that fight hurt me deeply, the things that he said to me, that he assumed about me, and the fact that he doesn't seem to know much about who I truly am really upset me and I am having a hard time getting over that and moving on. Though all else that this summer has handed me, things that have hurt me, that have been tough and things that brought tears to my eyes, I am finding it easier to move on. I was hurt, but I'm done with feelings, with distance from those I wish I was closer to, and all those things that have made me cry this summer. Those are the things that I am moving on from, that today showed me there is so much out there for me and there is no point in waiting around for these things to come to me. I have decided that I am stronger than I thought I was, and I will not let others dictate what my life turns out to be; I will not wait for things that I only thought will complete me. So I'm done with many things that I feel and I wish I could get over what my dad said to me, but for now I can't. However, all the rest of the crap of this summer, the hurt, the tears, they're done with, over,and I'm done with them as well. Goodbye to those summer feelings, I thought those were what was going to complete me, but I have only just realized that I can complete myself and I have a whole new life waiting for me.

*I Hope*

So here I am, sitting in a beautiful city, lights shining from the magnificent buildings all around me, the black night sky encompassing the world and I sit here, in silence wondering what comes next. My mind is drifting toward many thoughts, but there in the center of all of them is the revolving door that is titled "hope." I have thought long and hard about this idea of hope, of a feeling, wishing things will happen, hoping they will. And it seems that to me, hope is something that we can't live without because without it, life would be nothing to dream about, nothing that we want to happen to us in the future. So I think that hope can be a range of a ton of things. Hope can be a mere image of what we want, a black and white picture of a kiss in front of the eiffel tower or a view of a stunning city at sunset. Hope can be our dreams, our thoughts, our minds racing and scattered with ideas and desires. For me, all I can hope for are my dreams and that they become real someday. Yesterday my world came crashing down, it was rough and tears were not strangers to my eyes anymore and my hope for the situations that came up truly vanished completely. Though today, as I find peace here in the city, I feel my hope being restored. I hope that I will heal and that I will overcome my fear of being hurt. I hope that I will learn to love without reservation, without trying to protect myself. I hope that I will never lose hope, that my faith will always be steady, and that my life will be a success. All of these things are hopes, dreams, desires, and someday, perhaps I willl know the secrets of hope and what it is and means. So in that black and white picture, I can hope that someday that will be me, that my hopes have a chance of coming true and that someday I will forgive myself for all I've done to hide my heart. I hope that hope stays with me all my life, because without it, my dreams and desires would cease to exist. I hope that hope is always alive.

The Daughter They Never Even Knew

We grow up hearing, “Be your own person,” “Go for what you feel,” and “become whatever you want to become.” But then as we grow up and get to that point when those are the things we need to be doing, suddenly those parents that told us all those things, pull the plug on our dreams. They give us everything and never ask for anything in return, but the moment that all we need is their support in becoming the person we are becoming, they are not there. You know, I used to believe that I could tell my parents anything, especially my mom, that I trusted her to know what I truly feel. But anymore I do not. I trust no one except a few friends to know the secrets of my heart. I feel alone and totally lost, but I cannot tell my parents that, they will punish me for it. I have changed, matured, grown into myself, found out more about who I truly am inside, but yet they look down upon that and tell me to go back to how I used to be. They tell me they trust me with everything, that I have always done what they have wanted, but when I am upon the beginning of doing it, they get nervous and don’t trust that I’ll do the right thing, even though I always have. How is it fair that I have never done anything wrong, nothing major anyway, and all my peers have, though they get more trust from their parents than I do? How can I be treated like this when the others are praised and are partying that very night, doing everything that I never did?

It makes me angry that I have tried to become who I truly am inside and that I am looked down upon for that. For they have no idea of what is going on in my head; in my heart. They have no idea that today of all days is the worst to spring this on me; and in fact I bet they wouldn’t even care. They would tell me to get over it and move on, just as they did with the move. I want to scream, for inside of myself I am screaming, yelling, irate at them for all that they pretend to be and do! They don’t understand anything about me, I’m not sure if they ever did. They pretended to know me, to be close to me, but did they ever know the real me? I don’t really think they did, they saw me doing well, doing all that I was supposed to do and overlooked who I was. All those times they were proud of me, it wasn’t me they were proud of, it was what I was doing that made them feel proud. I don’t know that they have ever been proud of “me;” of who I truly am, they don’t know me at all.

So I don’t care anymore; if they want it this way, it will be this way. They can do what they do, help me out, whatever, and I will thank them when necessary, appease them. But I will not fall short to their giving, I will not loose myself because they feel unappreciated. I will grow apart from them, then we will see who comes begging for their daughter back, the daughter they never even knew.

"Waiting to See"

For a moment, it felt like I was in a dream, like I had something to offer. But that moment is gone and the smile is gone from my face now; perhaps for a very long time it will be gone, who knows. But I feel like I'm lost, my heart sunken lower and when you see me next, I will be different. My faith has been shattered again and I only find refuge in my sunset, though I will be alone in it. I shake day and night and it is strange how feelings can come and go, be strong and then disappear at once. So now I know for sure that nothing will become of what I feel and all that you wanted, you found someplace else. I will not be the same when you see me next; for my smile will be lost and my nails will be dark, just like my heart. The truth has hurt me, but I will go on, move on. I used to believe that everything happens for a reason, and though it's hard to see, maybe that's really true. I give up trying to know why things happen... so I guess I'll just have to wait to see.

*Under the Stars Alone*

I have discovered a feeling I've never had, a hurt inside of myself, a moment that made me stop and think about who I am and what I need. What I've felt lately is slowly dissolving as I see it failing and as I stand staring into the stars, I realize that it's the end of what I feel. This is the end of this era, the beginning of a new chapter, a new era in my young life. So I will look to the stars and walk on knowing that I will be alright with myself, that I will heal and that life will go on. Friends and feelings will come and go, but I will always have my heart and myself to hold on to. And in that I feel peace, knowing that life is hard, it's supposed to be and that makes us stronger in the end. So as I feel the thoughts inside my heart dissolving as they fail around me, for I should've known, I should've seen it coming, I will remember them fondly but put them away; move on into different feelings, different experiences. So forgive me for letting them go, but I cannot go on with them because they are only mine; and not helping on either end. So as I walk on under the stars alone, I see their beauty and their peace and I know that life has only just begun.

writing

What is it about writing that frees me? Perhaps it is the fact that I can say anything I want, that I can put on paper all that I feel, all that I want, all that I desire. Writing is a sensation that has no boundaries, that looks down upon no one and that pushes the limits of life itself. When I write, my mind is wild, unpredictable and totally magnified, open to anything and unafraid to say it. It is a passion that I hope to keep forever; something that frees my entire mind and soul, and helps to mend my heart as I write about broken emotions, feelings, and thoughts. Every word I write, every sentence I craft my heart opens further into itself and I find out more about my very being, who I am. Writing is thrill, a time when all I have to answer to is myself and what I feel, and it shows the truest aspect of me. For in my writing my heart is there, laid out on a blank page, a journey of my mind and heart and in it, I can push myself to the extremes or lay low and except a smaller sense of passion. For writing is my escape from the world, my wings to fly to another place. When I am upset, inspired or simply content, I escape to my writing to free myself of the burdens of life and in it, I am cured, healed and able to fly back, ready for another day, whatever might come my way.

Like a Lantern

Dan Millman once said, "That faith means living without uncertainty- feeling your way through life, letting your heart guide you like a lantern in the dark," and what an amazing idea that is. And yet why is it so hard to let that uncertainty take us over and to let our hearts guide us? For I know exactly how I feel in my heart, so why is it so hard to express that feeling to the person that needs to hear it the most? It is because I am afraid to go out into the dark with only my heart to guide me; I'm afraid to get lost along the way, or worse yet, lose that person along the way or be pushed aside. But if I don't share my heart, then I will lose more in the end, and I know that. Life only gets harder as we age, as we get older, but it gets even more intriguing each day that we are alive too, so either way... we must choose which path we take and live with that. I must find what I feel before moving on and expressing that to the world and to that person. But I am afraid to lose it and to lose all that I feel because of getting hurt; I'm afraid to give my heart and get nothing in return. So I guess what I have to do is decide which is better: show my heart and take the chance of that fulfillment, or put my heart out on a line and risk getting hurt. But either way, I will have got out into the dark and I will just have to see if I get led back into the daylight or if I am lost in the dark for a while.
And I know inside my heart, that everyone falls sometimes, that hearts get broken and mended, that life goes on. But it's so hard to give part of yourself when you don't know what you will get back from it. And a piece of my heart may very well be gone forever, lost in all eternity, but maybe that's what I need. Maybe finally I will be able to move on either way because I will know; I might get hurt, my heart might fail me, but at least I will know, one way or the other.... So here's to putting your heart on the line, living with the uncertainty, and walking into the dark with only your heart guiding you like a lantern in the very black and uncertain night.

You Mean the World to Me!

So as I am back in Eugene now after 3 days down in Medford, I thought that I should do a little writing about how amazing those 3 days really were! First of all, I got to see people that I haven't seen in two months at least, and those people made my trip so incredibly special! I can't even imagine what I would do without those people in my life and you guys are amazing people and amazing friends! B, Alex, Bre, Tori, Lyss, Jordan, Kate, Amanda... I had such an amazing time with all of you! Being back there reminded me of how much we truly need friends and you have all been there for me all along, I appreciate that so much! You are all such inspirations and mean so much to me, and that will never change. You all have such amazing and interesting lives, and though you may not know it, you are the people that make life better for those around you! You all are fabulous and I will never forget any of you, there's no way that I could. So thank you for making those 3 days extraordinary, each and every moment that I spent with you was incredible. From taking pics of sunsets, amazing ones at that, to watching for shooting stars, to awkward moments at a certain family's house, to driving up country roads, to getting chased away by sirens in the middle of the night, to dancing on rooftops, to getting chased away by helicopters from the hill, to going to Safeway just for Macaroni and just sitting by the pool talking for hours. Each moment I spent with each of you was so extraordinary and I realized that I miss you all so much when I'm not there! But thank you for always being there for me, for making my time in Medford amazing, and for just being who you are.... that perhaps means the most! And you all mean the world to me!

~The Shore~

The Shore

Sailing away into the sunset,

The gray sky overhead, rough blue water beneath you,

And you are capsizing around the waves,

Roaring around you.

Some drown you,

Some merely pull you down,

Others leave you restless,

And yet still others let you rest on top of them,

Only to drop you lower when they fall.

The sky turns crimson as you struggle in the waves,

And I am speechless, weeping on the shore,

Watching you fall over and over again,

As all those waves keep crashing against you.

Time after time, you think they will raise you up,

That they will deliver to the shore,

But rather, they beat you down, farther and farther,

Not caring if you survive or if you come out broken at the other end.

Though I am still motionless on the shore,

Unable to speak to you, to call out your name;

I have no power over the waves around you,

And the grey and crimson sky turns black, slowly but steady.

Soon the stars are out, the moon barely lighting the way,

And you are lost in the waves once again,

Each one building you up, then crushing you with its curse,

Abandoning you in their power,

Pushing you down and down,

And you only come back up shattered, broken and hurt.

I try to reach for you,

To grasp your hand and pull you into my safety,

But you will not let me,

Your grasp is slipping from me,

Your hand falling away.

If only I could pull you into the safety of the shore,

If only I could keep you out of those waves and all their power,

But I cannot, for I am unable to hold on to you,

To keep you safe upon the shore.

The waves keep you and you let them,

You let them toss and handle you,

In that dark, cold and rotten water.

But if I had the chance,

To reach out and grab your hand,

To pull you out of that hideous sea of water,

I would rescue you to the safety of the sand,

And keep you on the shore until all that’s broken is put back together,

And until you are strong enough to stay on that shore forever.

~Casey

Back off...

Maybe it's me, maybe it's the world I've been living in, but lately I have not laughed at the stupid jokes my brother makes or the immature ideals that my dad tries to portray. I am not amused that my mom thinks I'm a child and I am so tired of being seen as a girl who needs a phone call every hour of every day. I have grown up and I need some space to find out what I want, who I am and where I am going; I don't need to be watched over every second of the day. I am forming my own opinions of this world and I want to be able to say what I believe, love who I want to love, and be who I want to be without being criticized for it, or rebuked for it. And maybe it is me, maybe I am sensitive to the fact that I am on my own now for the most part, but at the same time, I would like to be able to know that I can do it on my own and still have that approval, just a bit farther away. And yes I love my family very much, though at the moment I am tired of the constant questioning and the phone calls how many times a day... so right now... I need make my own life on my own and do what I want to find out what I want, need and who I am. So I want them to back off... and let me be until I realize where it is that I am going and who it is that I am.

~Maybe I'm wrong, but I'd rather Believe~

So some say that faith is a waste of time, something that we don't need, that is useless in this modern world. To those people, I would stop whatever I was doing and ask them how they can say that. How can we wake up to that brilliant sun every morning, watch amazing moments all through the day, and go to bed without any sort of belief in something higher? How do you find love for the first time and not believe that there is something higher above us all? For I do not know how someone can just lose their faith, suddenly forget and move on. I just don't know and I hope that I never will understand that. It is something that is inside of us all, uniquely and individually, something we all have to come to grips with totally on our own. Our faith depends on how much we believe in ourselves and how much we need that faith in our lives. Though still, I beleive that faith is more than just believing in God or not, it is a lifestyle, a choice, a direction, a specific path we choose for ourselves and then base our lives around that. And yet, there are many people in this world with incredible morals and wonderful, pure ideas that have no faith at all, however, is their life as full as it could be? Or are they missing something very important in their day to day lives? And when they die, what is it that they will long for? But I guess we never know and perhaps I am totally wrong is believing what I beleive, in praying to a God I think I know. Maybe there is no life after death, perhaps we are not here for a reason, perhaps this world was not a creation, but an evolution of life. But isn't that sad and unfulfiilling to believe that? For even if I am totally wrong, and my faith is a huge mistake, a sad and committed joke, I would rather live believing in something higher and something ahead of me, than to live life wondering if there is more to see? I would always regret not having that extra push in my day, or that peaceful hour on Sundays during mass, the holiest time I can ever be a part of. So yes, maybe I am stupid to believe what I believe, but the truth is that my faith is what guides my life, what pushes me to succeed and what holds my hand when I need a little help. It is my guiding force day after day and it is my stepping stone through life, guiding me, leading me, pushing me on. So my faith is in a sense, my path through life, showing me what to do and what not to do and so far... it's led me pretty well.

"your little girl forever and for always"

Almost 19 years ago, a man wondered what kind of father he would be, how he would love a child with all his heart and how he would make her happy. That man should not have worried about such things for it is in his nature to be the best father a girl could ever ask for and so he has been for almost 19 years now. That man is my father, you, and an amazing person at that.

For my entire life, you have done nothing but love me and accept who I was. You had faith in me when no one else did and you believed in me from the first day that I lived. You knew that I would do everything that I could do and you accepted the decisions I made like they were your own. For almost 19 years you have given me more than I could ever ask for, you have been there when I needed you most and you have loved me with all you have ever had. I am so thankful that I have a dad like you and I know that I am so lucky, for many never get the chance to have a dad like you.

The father-daughter relationship is tricky at times, very sensitive and even perhaps unstable. For some things a father does not understand, and may never understand about his daughter, as well as there being things that a daughter will never know about her father, but in the end, it is the love between them that brings them back together. And I will be honest, we’ve been through some rough times, times when I was mad at you for what you thought or did, but without those times where would we be today? And our relationship has only strengthened as I have grown, but I will always be your little girl, worshiping the ground her father walks on. Joseph Addison once said, “that certain is it that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of a father to a daughter. In love to our wives there is desire; to our sons, ambition; but to our daughters there is something which there are no words to express." And how truly put is that? For there are truly no words that can conquer the father-daughter relationship and in that mystery of that love so strong, there is even more mystery behind that look a father always has for his daughter, and the admiration a daughter always has for her father.

So thank you for being that man that you are, because I know that you have touched not only me, but hundreds of people you have met. So many, many people think the world of you and you have inspired tons and tons of kids through your years. Though none of them have been as touched with your love as I have, for through all the ups and downs, when I look back on my childhood, I see your face and smile comforting me, guiding me, directing me, toward that life you always knew that I would lead. Thank you for helping me to find myself, for accepting who I am, and for always pushing me to follow my heart, wherever it took me. Your life is an inspiration, your heart is a stronghold to all who are in its reaches and you have been the best dad a girl could ever have. With all my heart, thank you for being you and for loving me as you always have. Happy Birthday and please know that whatever I do, whatever I say, or whoever I meet will always be a reflection of you. You are my safety and you will always be my dad, just like I will always be your daughter, and nothing will ever change that. I love you with all my heart… and I hope you enjoy this collection of things that will forever remind me of you! You deserve every moment that someone thinks of you for you truly are an inspiration to the world!

Love,

Your little girl forever and for always,

~Casey~

We'll See....

Someone very intriguing once said, "love is like a painting, in the beginning it is only an idea, but over time it is built up through errors and corrections till you have a breath taking work of art for all to see." How extraordinary is that? To look at love in that way... however, most of us know that love is not realistic that way, it is hurried and overlooked in our busy world. Why is it some can fall so deep in love that the world does not matter anymore, and others never find that special person in their life? Love is something that I think hardly any one truly understands, and everyday I wonder if love will ever be a true part of my life... how will it change and effect me? When will I fall in love? How will I know it is true... but I guess the answers to all of my questions are that I will know when it happens to me. That's all I can hope for at this point in my life, and I guess that I may never know the reasons love captures some and skips others... but I hope with all my heart that I will be touched by some sort of love in my life... we'll see....

~Perfect Girl~

Perfect Girl... by Sarah McLachlan

Am I faithful, am I strong, am I good enough to belong
In your reverie a perfect girl
Your vision of romance is cruel and all along I played the fool
All your expectations bury me

Don't worry you will find the answer if you let it go
Give yourself some time to falter
But don't forgo know that you're loved no matter what
And everything will come around in time

I own my insecurities I try to own my destiny
That I can make or break it if I choose
But you take my words and twist them 'round
Til I'm the one who brings you down
Me me feel like I'm the one to blame for all of this...

Don't worry you will find the answer if you let it go
Give yourself some time to falter
But don't forgo know that you're loved no matter what
And everything will come around in time

You need everybody with you on your side
Know that I am here for you but I hope in time
You'll find yourself alright alone
You'll find yourself with open arms
You'll find yourself you'll find yourself in time

The riot in my heart decides to keep me open and alive
I have to take myself away from you
'Cause I can't compete I can't deny there's nothing that I didn't try
How did I go wrong in loving you

Don't worry you will find the answer if you let it go
Give yourself some time to falter
But don't forgo know that you're loved no matter what
And everything will come around in time

... never faulter again...

You know as I sit her tonight listening to a few of my favorite songs and thinking about everything ahead of me, I am suddenly at peace. And you know, I am open to where ever life takes me and at this point who knows where that will be... And I know that my heart will be broken along the way, but if it's meant to be, then how can we fight it. Life is so intricate and so confusing at times... but as I think more about it, I think we are supposed to be asking questions, attempting to find answers, and feeling more like we are drifting away in chaos rather than knowing everything. As we grow up and learn more about ourselves and the world, I am feeling more and more scattered, unsure of the world around me, yet inside I am finally realizing that perhaps that is more of who I am and who we all should be. We are not meant to know all the answers, there is no point in living if we do, there would be no point in experiencing anything or living to experience anything. As Emile Cioran once said, "Chaos is rejecting all that you've learned and being yourself." That is exaclty what I believe we must do to survive our fears and thoughts of failure, learn to love the chaos in life, becasue without it, without those questions we have for ourselves, our futures and the world, we would never get to live life just to live. And we would be swept away in boredom and in over confidence... so learn to live with the chaos and live to try and answer those questions we are all trying to answer. For when you find those answers, and believe me you will, it will be a moment of briliance and you will never faulter again....

favorite part of my day

So as I was driving home tonight, I was in awe as I drove with the top down on my car and right at the exact moment that the sun was setting. It was the most beautiful thing ever and totally cleared my mind. Why is it that the sunset is so fabulous?? It truly is amazing and makes me melt every time I watch it. Sunsets really do inspire me and they are perhaps my favorite part of the day... a sunset is clearly the key to my heart haha... well maybe not... but definiltey is one of my favorite things in this world!!!!

hmmm o colors....

Hmmm ok this might be a bit weird... but I'm gonna try it out for Adam's sake... Ok so my favorite color is pink and anyone who knows me knows that. So in my life there is pink everywhere... pink nails, pink towels in my apartment, pink thank you cards, pink purses... haha and so much more. But really pink is an amazing color when you think about it and it truly effects us in so many ways every day! First thing in the morning when you walk outside to get the paper, chances are there are pink flowers somewhere in your yard... flowers that smell good and make you smile because they are so simple, but so beautiful. Then whenever you make someone laugh or blush, their face turns pink, again a sign that they are nervously happy or excited about something... both good emotions. There are pink houses, pink cars, pink wallets, Pink the singer, pink like a cute little pig... pink is everywhere in our world! And then to end your day, if you are lucky the sky will be a vibrant pink at sunset... the most beautiful thing you've ever seen, something you could watch night after night. And what an amazing end to a day... to end the day seeing that fabulous, intricate color that can be so many shades, so many palettes, so many forms... So next time you think about it, how does your favorite color affect you, it probably affects you in more ways than one!