Love, Casey

I am about to do something that is very hard for me, something that needs to be done, however hard it may be. I have sat here for the last hour, listening to the music around me, contemplating what I'm to write, and staring out my window at a family moving in. Though that hour has come and gone quickly, but I don't feel it's been wasted. For I have been thinking the entire time, sitting here with the softest blanket wrapped around me, just thinking. And what I'm about to do has been a long time coming, it's something that I know I have to do and at this point right now in my life, I feel like I have the strength to do it, I feel like I have the security to do it, the support. So here it goes, I'm about to apologize to the one person in my life who I still haven't forgiven.

To my father,
I am sorry for the blame I have placed on you. I will give no excuses for you did to me, to Mom, I will only apologize from the bottom of my heart and mean it. I've gone on long enough blaming you, using you as an excuse to be unhappy, to be sad, to be fragile. But I don't need that anymore; I don't need that security, I don't need that blame to hold me. And I know that you didn't do it on purpose, I know you didn't mean to hurt me and I'm sorry for putting you through this agony. And while I wish that you would have been there during that year, I wish you would come to know me as the person I've become, I can't, won't hold that against you anymore. I'm sorry, I truly am. And I forgive you, I will use this to grow, to learn, to love. You are my dad and that will never changed, I'm sorry, please forgive me as I forgive you.

Love,
Casey