"Momentous"

When did praying get so hard,
When did loving him become easier
Than painting my nails black and calling
Myself punk rock, when I was pink all along?
When did being alone become so lonely
When I’d lived it for 18 years and suddenly
He changed all that. One day changed 18 years.
Ironic isn’t it? When did my best friend leave
And why can’t I have that back again?
When did living on my own become the best
Thing that I’ve ever chosen to do and how long
Will it be until he’s back? How long till the roses
Don’t remind me of him not being here,
How many hours till faith comes back?
When did days of silence become years
Of noise and when did a baby brother
Become a silent man? Where along the road
Did father become friend after being enemy?
When did heart and soul become words to
Live by and where along the journey I took
Did alone mean something more than it ever did before?
Alone used to be alone in my room, alone with no
One to love. Now alone means wanting the only I love
To be back, missing him. Missing my one and only while
Being alone. Where did the days of doing nothing go?
18 years of being me has turned into 2 years of searching
for more. When did looking for answers get so hard?

When did praying get so hard?
When did loving him become easier
Than changing myself?