intentions

When the night wears down, the wind starts up and the darkness captures the skycraping towers that I know, I come home to this place alone and wash the city off my face. I find myself here tonight, suddenly clearing all the doubt from my mind, suddenly erasing every shred of question that I've created for myself in the past few months. And while the last few months have been such and ups and downs, I can't believe how far we've come, how much we've been through together, how much we've accomplished and hurt together. Even now, you are the one I think of when you are gone. Even now, when I am alone and calm, even now when I look at out this beautiful city we both love so much, I still hold dear in my heart how much I still feel for you. And in the past month I have questioned a lot, worn weak from all that's happened, I wasn't sure that this is truly what I wanted, that this was truly what was right for me. But I know now, this break is all I needed, this time alone, to think, to watch, to breathe. The streets are quiet and so is my heart, my thoughts quieted by the absence of the streetcar and my heart warmed by the city lights surrounding my mind.

I do know that you are the person I am meant to be with. You are the boy that I need, the boy that created who I am now. I never thought I'd be the person that needed someone to be happy with her life, but love has changed me, life has changed me in the past couple of years. And you are my future, I do know that now. I ask only one thing of you my love: please let me question things, for that is the only way I will find the answers I am looking for. Please let me let go in order for you to catch me, it's how my heart works, always has, always will.

So lately, it is in my questioning that I have learned to find more truth about my life, in my questioning that I have found more about myself and more about the life I know I am intended to live.