needs

I suddenly feel alone, all alone. My best friend is making a decision for herself this summer, a decision that is effecting me as well and without her, I feel like in a way I am being left behind, lost, abandoned. And while I know its what she thinks she needs, personally I don't think it is. And all at the same time, I need a change, I need to move on from where I am now and everything seems stale. And suddenly all I want is to leave, begin a new part of my life.

And while I sit here, I feel like everything I want right now, everything I need, will not happen to me for a long time. Why am I constantly the one that does everything right and end up getting punished in the end? How is that fair, how is that right? I want so badly to do the things that I want, to make my decisions, but in the end, I never can because too many other people tell me now, that this isn't the right time, that this is wrong.

I want someone to answer yes, to want to be with me, to want me to have what i want. I want so much from my life and I feel like right now, no one will let me make the choices I know are right... no one will let me do what I want with my life.