My City

As time gets closer and closer to being in Oregon again, I find myself counting down the days. Never have I missed something so much, and I've come to find that I'll always consider it home, even though I never grew up there, even though I've been all over the world, I will always find the peace and comfort of "home" in the best kept secret place in the world, in Oregon.

Sometimes I look out my window and pretend that it's the streets of the Pearl, or the river at sunset, or Pioneer Square, or NW 23rd. Sometimes I can see in my head so clearly the drive up burnside, the morning walks to school, the 405 bridge when the sun is setting over the mountains. I miss the way it rains in Oregon, the way it gets so grey, but the most beautiful shade of grey. I miss the restaurant tables spilling out in to the sidewalk in the summer time and the random people you see all over town. I miss being able to walk everywhere and be there in 20 minutes. I miss wearing jackets and feeling like I belong. I miss the beautiful buildings, the tree covered streets of Goose Hollow. I miss the first few weeks of fall, when you can feel a fresh change coming. I miss knowing I am only an hour away from my grandparents and my brother. I miss Red Robin and Mazatlan and Macaroni Grill. I miss coffee on my way to school and riding the MAX. I miss always having my umbrella with me in the winter and the scarves and the gloves. I miss the waiters knowing me at PF Changs and ice cream runs to Cold Stone or Gelato in the pearl. I miss the easiness, the familiarity, I miss feeling like I'm home at the end of the day. I miss the airport in Portland and the drives down to Medford. I miss the trees, and the air, and the field and field driving south on I5.

I know why I left and I know that when it came down to it, I didn't really have a choice. I knew I needed to change in order to really appreciate what I had, that I'd never love Portland as much as I love it now that I've left. I knew somehow that I had to move away to experience other things in order to know that I had to come back someday, to love it even more, to know that it's where I'm meant to be. I knew that I had some difficult decisions to make, that I had to chase some dreams before I could keep on going how I was. And now I know that Portland, that Oregon is in my heart, in my soul and in my mind, forever, it's a place that forever I will call home, that forever I will be apart of, whether I am there or not.

And everyday when I get to work and turn on my computer, there it is, right there on my screen everyday, that city that made me who I am, that city that I will return to someday, that city that is in my dreams and my thoughts all the time.