Holidays

As we approach December and the holiday season, filled with memories, with family, with those we love, with those that we miss, we embark on yet another December, another Thanksgiving weekend, another Christmas, another new year around the corner. And this year has been one of learning experiences, of huge firsts for me, of huge moments and of small ones, of one day trips to Oregon and back, of finding out once and for all that true love will hold true, of losing friends, of losing family. And as I look back on the last year, I have perhaps lost just as much as I have gained this year. Sometimes I think back, four years ago, to my freshman year in college, to when life was so simple, so exciting, so easy. That was a year that I definitely gained more than I lost, and I so sublimely happy. That was one of the best years of my life, I fell in love, lived on my own, met so many new and interesting people, fell in love with my city, and found true peace in myself and in who I was becoming.

It's interesting to sit here tonight and think that last year at this time I was at home asleep next to the boy I love, wanting to spread my wings and fly and go out and find myself again. It's interesting to look back at the moments in my life where I really found what I was looking for, they were always moments that I had lost something, that made me look at what I had and moments when I really had to search within myself to find the answer. And here I am again, in one of those moments. But there is one thing I do know, one thing that I want more than anything else I've ever wanted, is to be there at home next to that boy that is the only person in this world that I could spend every second of every day with, that boy that pulled me out of one of my moments of loss when I met him, a boy that I have seen grow into a man, a boy that knows me inside and out and that knows everything about me, and loves me unconditionally.

We take so much for granted in our lives and if you would have told me last year at this time where I'd be and what I'd be doing right now, I would have jumped at the chance, thinking that this was my moment, that this was the dream. Little did I know that I was already living the dream right where I was, curled on the sofa of a cold apartment with the boy I love.

And so as the holidays fast approach, and we are coming up on yet another December, another new year, all I want to do to bring in the new year is to sit in our little chinese restaurant and look that boy in the eyes and say "I love you, for another year." And that is what the holidays are all about, being with those people that you love the most, and being able to hold their hand and look outside at the rain and the cold bare branches and smile, knowing that you are home and with those people you love the most.