Defining

I saw a film this afternoon and I haven't quite been able to get the story and the meaning behind the story out of my mind since. There were so many emotions that I connected with that I am feeling in my own life, and so many moments when I really did feel like it brought me back to moments just a few years ago in my own life, of that college experience, of being lost, of being misunderstood by family and by finding someone that changed my life, that helped me to heal, that helped me to move on, that helped me to find out who I was.

I think that there are moments in our lives that we never quite forget, and for years and years afterwards, they are still ever present in our minds, yet maybe just a little hidden from view. We might have to dig them up to feel them again, or we might have to push ourselves to get to them, but they are there all the same. And these moments are events, both large and small, both affecting millions and affecting only ourselves, and moments both joyous and torturous. They are things like seeing the planes hit the twin towers on September 11th and while I might never be able to explain exactly how I felt in that moment, I can feel it exactly when I remember it. They are moments like that first kiss, or when you know you are falling in love with someone and you will never be the same. It's moments that you remember that feeling of fighting with a parent, of feeling unloved, or of feeling betrayed. They are emotions that you may never be able to explain to anyone, or even to yourself, but they are moments all the same that you will always remember how you felt, no matter where you go, what you do or how long you hide them away.

And through all these moments in our lives, we must find a way to feel them, to experience them and then to move on. We must fill our hearts with all of these and then file them away and wake up tomorrow, knowing that we can always still find them, but that we must begin again and take the next step forward. I'll never forget how I felt that morning of September 11th, 2001 or the first moment that I knew I was falling in love with Nick, or that fight with my dad in the Summer of 2005 when I left home. There are things in our lives that affect us all, things that pull us apart and things that put us back together. It's how we handle them, how we move on, how we do all we can in the wake of them that matters. It's how we take that next step that defines us as who we are and we we can be.