For Me

There are moments when I wonder why I do this, why I sit here alone, why I am not on a plane every weekend, why I'm even here in the first place. And then all the realities and responsibilities come back to me, I have to pay my mortgage, I have to pay the bills, I have to pay for all that stuff that I have in my life, all the luxuries. And then the less material things come into view, I do this because in a way I think my parents need this, I do this so that they will be proud, so that I can say I have a job, so that I get experience in my field, so that I don't let my colleagues down. And then I do this for me a little bit, well I did this in the first place because before I could commit to anything or anyone I needed to at least feel like I could run wherever I wanted, that I could go off on my own and live my own life. And what it taught me was that that's what I was doing all along. I have been doing that my whole life, I have been standing up for who I am and following my heart and dreams all along. I just needed it to be a statement, a few months all my own, in which I could look back and know why I needed that and that I could do it.

And I sit here tonight so high above this palm tree lined city, and as I look ahead, I have 16 weeks to go, just 16, that's all and I'll be on a plane home, coming home to you. I can do that, I can make it, and not just for the financial reasons, not just for the realities and the responsibilities, I can do it for me and for you and for my family. I can do it for my job and for my office, I can do it for my experience and my career. I can do it because it's only 16 weeks out of a lifetime back home with you. So here's to starting the tally, 16 weeks and counting, that's not that long, especially when every two weeks I get to see you, that helps the tally go by faster. So I can do it, and not just for all those other reasons that come to mind, I can do this for me, I can do it for us.