Break

I think that sometimes we have to fully break to be able to start to put ourselves back together again. Maybe that's just how the circle of life works, after all you have to die to be fully reborn, and you have to stop, before you can start again. I think I hit that point yesterday, that point where everything that's tearing me apart inside, everything that's scaring me, everything that's eating at me every single day, finally had to break me, finally had to tear me fully apart inside in order for me to rebuild, in order for me to start over and take that first breath again. I am still scared, and I am still torn, but at least I can take the first steps to move on and to rebuild, to accept what is about to come and to embrace it, to learn to live with it and to learn to love again.

I need help though, I can't do it fully on my own. I need to know that the step I'm taking is real and right, and that this path is the right path for us. I need to know every single day that the little things still do matter, that love can be fragile but brilliant, that home can really be wherever you are and that life is too important to let the smallest moments slip away from us.

I need to know that no matter how far or deep I break, I will have someone to catch me, someone to hold me in the dark and help me put myself back together again.