How many times have we left something or someone behind? It seems every time there's a change in our lives, people and places get left behind, never the same again. I find it incredible that through it all, some people keep their same friends, their same homes, their same livlihoods, always constant, never changing. I guess it might be different for me than for all of you seeing as I've lived in about 4 different places in my life, grown up half way around the world and then grew the rest in a small town in the United States. I've had so many "best" friends, that now I feel like I have to be my own "best" friend. There was Sarah first, then Caroline and Rachel, then Alyssa, then Nick ( in a different way) and Don who I've grown closer with even as time has gone on. I feel like sometimes all these people were in my life to teach me things, some of them still are with me and a part of my life and I am so thankful for that. But I've realized that that bond between "best" friends can be different with each and every relationship.
Some are formed for need of a bond, a girl to girl relationship that consists more like that of a sisterly bond than anything else. There are some that formed out of the differences between the two, a friendship where one is completely different than the other but that lasts because of the bond formed. There are friendships that form out of love, pure love that reveals honesty and truth. There are frienships that form from the "non-neediness" of each other, a bond between a guy and a girl that's not sexual or physical, but a bond that means something to them both. I've had each of these kind of relationships in my life, I've had some leave me and I've left some of them myself. And what I realize now is that each and every one of them meant something, they meant even more to me when both people in the friendship could realize each other's needs and meet them, respect them and truly find the person inside.
Friends, homes, lovers, pets all leave us. At some point or another you'll leave or they'll leave, whether by choice or by necessity. We must accept that aspect of life, embrace it and honor it. You will not live in your house forever, you won't be with the person you love forever (though it may end in death), forever is a long idea. Forever does not exit in humanity. In thought it does, in dreams. But not in real human existence.
So often we let go when we should be pullling in, so many times we curl up in a little ball and wish away the world when we should be embracing it and attemtping to free ourselves from our own seclusion. We seclude ourselves from the world to get away from the reality of it, to spend time alone, to think, to do our own thing. But sometimes we have to branch out, sometimes our touch is the one that is most needed by others and we need to realize that we can't hide from the world, we can embrace it and pursue reality however that may be.
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