*stronger*

I think that I've realized something in the past few days, actually I guess in the past few months in which I thought would be the hardest of my life. Today is what, July 09, 2006. It has been 56 days, 8 weeks and 2 months since the love of my life left the city to return home for the summer. And I will not lie, I admit at the beginning of those 2 months I was skeptical, I was scared, I was insecure and unsure of what was going to happen. I was an emotional nightmare, (which I sincerely apologize for) and I was lost in myself as well as in the newly "single" world around me. I was going to be on my own, living all by myself, doing everything by myself, sleeping alone, waking up alone and starting a new era alone. But what I came to realize in that was that I wasn't scared to be alone, I wasn't scared that we wouldn't end up back together at the end of the seperation, I was scared to find myself. And that is exaclty what needed to happen. I needed to find who I was, spend time with me, learn who I was and who I want to be and trust myself before this relationship could go any further, which I hope it goes on for the rest of my life.

It's only when we need things the most that then everything happens for a reason. This seperation has been good for us, it has given us each time to find out who we are and where we're headed. And I think our love has withstood that, showing us the quality of what we feel. I can't wait until he is back up here again in a few weeks, and I know the future only has good things in store for us, but the past few months have shown me how much I've grown and how much I love the guy that I fell in love with. It's been 56 days, 8 weeks and 2 months and in just a few weeks, life will go back to normal and the time that I thought would kill me has only made me stronger.