Drifting

I feel a distance drifting in,
and the things we used to be
are drifting away.

It's been days since you've held me,
and weeks since we've just been us,
and I'm starting to fade.

Sometimes we have to say no to protect what we love,
sometimes we must figure out how to stay alive
while we keep the ones we love in our lives.

I feel a distance settling in,
and the things I loved are falling away,
and so am I.

Hold on to me, give me your time,
and find a way to keep me,
because this distance is pulling me away.

*getting through*

I got to thinking about life today, about how busy we get and how when we're little, no one tells you about all the things that really pose the most challenges in our lives as we get older. No one tells you that people will let you down most of the time, that lovers will break your heart when you did nothing wrong, that friends will fall short of expectations, that it will be hard to keep in touch with everyone that you should. No one tells you that you will have to learn to stand on your own or you will fall, or that at some point you will have to find that fine line between work and relationships, between family and friends, and between living your dreams and paying the rent.

And as we grow up, we find our own little niches in this world and we get on how we can and we meet people and we fall in love and we start our own adult lives and then all these things suddenly come into play. Suddenly we have to find out who those true friends are and mold that life we want while keeping everything in balance too. And not only is it life and school and work and relationships that we have to keep in balance, but it's ourselves that we must look after as well.

I find myself so much of the time running from school to work to dinner and then home to get enough sleep. And it's been so long since I've just wandered the city streets, since I've sat for hours writing at the riverfront. ANd those are things that used to keep me together but much like my future career calls "value engineering," we must also in our lives, weed out what we don't time for, things that, while we love them, can't be part of our routine anymore. And while I miss them, I realize at the same time that sometimes we find new things that have that meaning to us. Things like staying home with a lover, going out with girlfriends, working on something that is your passion... those things now become the things that shape who I am and they get me through.

And while we grow up, we might find out that some people let you down, that some will never fit into your life again and that some will never understand who you become, but you will always have those people in your closest circle of family and friends. You will always have that one girl that you have wacky nicknames with, that one love that leaves you sweet little notes, that one girl that brings out the craziness in you, the one guy that has held your hand every step of the way and that family that while they may be crazy and irrational, will always hold your best interests at heart and be proud of you. And along the way, you will always have that relationship with yourself that you have molded along the way.

We must remember though as well, we must find time for our old selves and our new selves, and find a space right in the middle. We must keep our priorities in line and remember who we used to be to become who we want to be. We must live our dreams but not compromise our relationships, we must keep our friends but go on our own path. And above all else, we must always keep that faith in the smallest of things that we always used to believe. It's that faith in the tiniest of moments that will get us through the hardest years of our lives.

You'll Be Home

Sometimes when we reach that point where we know that life will continue on, but it won't be the same without that other person, we get lonely when they're gone. And while I reached that point yesterday, while I missed you like crazy and while I miss the ordinary with you, I also know that no matter how far apart we are, nothing changes what we are and how much we love each other. There are times when we'll be apart and there will be times when I will get a little lonely a few days in because I'm missing you and our life together, but because you're you and I'm me, I know that no matter how far apart we may be and how long we might be alone on the other end, I'll always love you and I'll always miss your touch,your smell and your warmth.

It's important to be alone sometimes, and it's important to feel that sensation that only you feel when you're totally alone but it's also nice to know that while the bed may feel a little bigger when you're gone, it sure is nice to know you'll be coming home soon. It's that comfort in knowing that in just a few days all will be back to normal. So I think that it's important to have a few days to be able to get everything done, to be able to relax and enjoy that time on your own, but know in the back of your mind that tomorrow, you'll be home.

Lost tears

I don't quite know what feels right anymore, and I don't know if it's suddenly such an insecurity coming through that's making me this way. But I don't believe in what I know anymore, I don't believe in all the things that used to keep me so put together. I am going through a time in my life that I think I need a change to push me forward. I think that here I am, with it all so put together on the outside, but inside I am screaming, just going crazy, chaotic and lost. So much of the time, I just want it to be like it used to be, like it was when I was so incredibly happy, when everything you said to me made me smile and when I didn't have to listen to ten hours of the same thing over and over, when you cared intimately enough to take me out when I least expected it, when I never had to ask for you to show that you care.

And any more, I've lost so much of my security in myself and there has been no one standing there behind me to back me up when I'm falling and everyday as I think about it, it hurts me more and more that no one's been strong enough to stand behind me and hold me. And maybe I never will find anyone strong enough to catch me when I fall but I also want so badly to be loved so intimately, so through and through that no matter how far or fast I fall, someone cares enough to be there over and over without reservation, without reserve. I want that kind of love that Tariq has for Laila, that love that he tells her he'd go anywhere to follow her, that just being with her and living her dreams is enough, that just her, just the moments between them are enough. I feel like the older I get, the farther I get from that kind of love. It seems like the longer I stay where I am, the bigger gap begins to form.

I am so tired of the arguments, the words that don't need to be said. And right now, these tears are falling for more reasons than one. I used to be so confident that you loved me enough to follow me wherever I might go, that things that we important to me would always be important to you and in all honesty my love, I dont believe that anymore. I don't know that you'll follow me to wherever I end up going, I don't know that you want what I want anymore, and I don't know that I have the assurance in you that you are willing to be strong enough to catch me and keep me going.

Any Less

Some time in the last couple of days, my emotions have gotten the best of me. And suddenly, it's as if my whole world has changed, suddenly, it's as if all these memories have come flooding back. Suddenly I am realizing that there are no more quick drives home, there is no "home" to go to, suddenly now there are two houses to drive by and remember what it was like to be inside of it with my family. Suddenly there are two towns that are nothing but memories now. Suddenly I am realizing that there won't be birthday dinners, there won't be days when my dad is up here in the city for a meeting. Suddenly, there are no more thanksgivings at home, there are no more day trips or lunches with my mom. There are no more times when my parents are up here for a day, no more going home when I need a little extra push. There are no more trips to the grocery store with them, no more going to church with them.

Those of you whose parents live in the same place where you grew up, don't take that for granted, don't wish them to move, because when they do, it's harder than you've ever imagined. I don't know what it is lately, but it's really dawning on me. My parents are 2,000 miles away and I wasn't ready for that, I am not ready for it. It's hard, knowing that I have to board a plane to see them, knowing that there in a completely different time zone. It's hard knowing that they can't just drive up here for a birthday dinner or to drop something off. And lately, it's been so much just my brother and I relying on each other that it's making me see that suddenly, I am feeling my parents being gone so much more than I did when they first left.

I guess this is what life is about, moving and changing, it's something I think is in my blood, but it doesn't make it any easier, it doesn't make it any less emotional or make me miss them any less.

The Tunnel

Sometimes love just goes through a period of trial, a period of pain to come out on the other end happier than its ever been. This past year has been one of memories, often times more bad than good, but here we are, at the other end, still here, still together, stronger, better off and more in love than we've ever been. THrough it all, family, friends and personal struggles, life is finally taking its place and our love is finally pushing us forward, holding us together. I've never been happier with you my love, and for the first time in years, I am seeing our love as it was when we first got together. We are suddenly seeing love and life as they are meant to be seen and suddenly I want nothing more than to search for our dreams together. Sometimes, I catch myself just thinking of you and our life together and it makes me so happy, so refreshed and energized to keep going in life. I get so excited when I think about how we have no idea where we'll be in a year, but we know that we'll be together, we know that life will keep us together. I love you more than I ever have and even though a lot is up in the air right now, I'm so excited to experience that ride with you.

Here's to us my love... we made it through the tunnel.

A soft place to land

Its funny how all the small things in life come crashing down so much harder when you are missing someone. It's funny how every man that smiles at the woman in his life becomes a moment shared by you as well, remembering how it is to love someone else. It's ironic how every sunset, how every walk along the beach, gathers memories of that person so many miles away that has your heart. How every wedding, every smile and every touch, makes you believe more and more in the power of love and in what's supposed to be. We may go through trials, through obstacles and mazes, through ups and downs, and through every thing that life brings, but it is moments when we are away, apart, that bring me back to know how much I believe in us and in how much I do want you there with me when my life is growing. It's those little moments when no one thinks anyone is watching, that I see a husband kiss his wife, or two lovers strolling on the beach, it's those moments when I know we are not only doing the right thing with our relationship, but that our love only grows stronger and stronger with each day that passes.

It's funny how life takes us and throws us against the beach, like the giant waves that crash surfers and wave riders toward the sand. But there is always some sort of sandy patch for us to land on, life may throw you against that shore, but there is a force that is watching out for our safety and as not to hurt us too bad, that force may guide us clear of the rocky beach and instead force us to land on that soft golden sand. There is beauty in that crash, and a power so strong that is making crash only to fall on something soft and realize that we belong on dry land, rather than at sea.

You, my love, are my sandy shore, you are that soft place to land after the world has thrown me toward land, after life has held in its grip as hard as can be, and crashed me toward your shore. And as I sit here only waiting to see you again in just a few short days, I want you to know that you, my love, are my soft place to land, today and always.

P.S. I Love you

We're all changing, and through all those changes, sometimes the worst gets hold of us and holds us in its trap. Sometimes all we need is a little while to figure it all out and a little faith in that love that's always been there. Sometimes, we just have to realize that while sometimes it may be tough, while sometimes it may be terrible, it also is beautiful because through the hurt and loss, we are learning about ourselves and about our lives. We are learning about our love... and about our true feelings and in that... we are becoming more beautiful ... day by day.

P.S. I love you more than ever.

For you

I remember this feeling, I remember this loneliness from three summers ago. That loneliness that you saved me from then, you're causing now. Like the song says, at this point, "I'm just seeing how the shine wears off" and I'm so tired of the arguments, the fights, the tears. I've been here before and I hardly made it through, I've been here before and I cannot do it again. The tears are back, and here I am with no where to run, with no one to turn too. Everyone's gone, everyone's lost, my heart is lost, and lonely and hurt.

You know who I am, or at least I thought you did, and here when the tears keep falling harder now, why can't you love me enough to change who we are, to move on to something else and to just let it go? And as I continue to cry tonight, I can't help but wish that I could leave tonight, fly away and never come back. I am counting down the days until I can afford to do this all on my own again, the days when I have an excuse to leave, when I have an excuse to start over again on my own.

Especially today, you couldn't even let yourself not be selfish for one day, maybe have it all be about me for one day, until I have the strength to move on again. Couldn't you just give up a little for one day for me? You used to, you used to all the time.

And I'm tired of the front, I'm tired of people thinking that everything is perfect, becuase it's not. It's far from anything perfect. No matter what you say to me, I don't think that I matter enough to you right now, I don't think you realize where I am in my life and where you are in yours.

There are no words to express what I feel inside. That peice of me that you fulfilled has now been lost, and every hole in my heart filled with sadness and loneliness. I have been hurting for so long and overlooking it so that we could have a chance. But maybe we're not supposed to, maybe we just need to say goodbye, maybe we need time to grow alone.

You saved me when I was here before and you made me so happy that all the pain and hurt went away, you cured that loneliness that I couldn't help but feel and now, when I needed you the most, you have not been here to take the hurt away. You haven't cared enough to give up some of yourself for a little while to hold me when I'm hurt, instead you do everything you can to make me upset and continue on when I need you to stop. Is that too much to ask of the one you love, or so you thought, to give up a little of yourself when the other is hurting?

I do that every single day for you.

Tonight

With an empty finger and a room all by myself, I learned a very hard lesson tonight. Sometimes no matter how hard we try to love someone, or how hard we try to fix what has been lost, sometimes it can't be fixed. I used to believe in love, in the way that two people could find something in each other and in the way that what was between them could last always. I don't believe that anymore, and I've lost the faith that's always gotten me through. That faith in a feeling, in an emotion, in that love that always got me through before. I don't see it when you look me in the eyes anymore, I don't find that strength in you that I used to.

And I'm sorry, truly I am for losing that faith. I feel it so deep inside me that something is wrong, that something isn't right and I don't believe in anything anymore. You know they say that sometimes, when you have it all, you lose yourself. And that's where I am. I don't remember what's it like to feel safe anymore, I'm scared all the time. I don't remember what it's like to have fun, and I don't remember what it felt like to feel so in love. And I hate that, I hate losing all those moments that meant the world to me way back when.

All the pictures in the world can't show what I'm really feeling inside. All the memories in the world can't make me believe again, and I don't know if I ever will. All I want is to feel that love again and to look at you and see that you love me too, regardless of who we're with, or where we are. All I want is what all my family said they saw in you at the beginning, "how much you adored me."

That's all I've ever wanted.

Congrats

Today was one of many tears and many memories lost and brought back. Today my little brother graduated from high school and like many big sisters, I sat in the stands so proud of who he is becoming. Though I also found it so ironic in so many ways to sit there are remember that day of mine three years ago. And here on the eve of his graduation, he is in the same position I was at, our parents leaving the home that has helped him become the person he is, moving away, leaving behind friends and memories and the familiarity that comes from a place that you know for a while.

And it suddenly hit me today, that while he is only just beginning such a long journey, he has accomplished so much but there are a few more things that I just want to put out there for all of you who might be moving on to something new this time of year. Just a few things that as someone a few years older has come to find out about life...

~don't ever give up on your family because in the end, no one else will ever know you like they do
~don't ever give up on your dreams, and fight for them to the very last breath
~no one tells you about the things that are going to break you the most: lost loves, heartaches, the struggles in life, but keep your head high and always remember the people that are there for you
~as you move along in your life, remember that it's okay to leave some things behind
~don't get stuck in something that you don't love
~always follow your heart
~remember the people that were there along the way but were the quiet watching from afar, sometimes they have the most meaning in your life
~don't ever forget where you came from or who you are
~but don't let where you came from hinder you from where you are going
~it's okay to be afraid, and in the next few years you will feel this emotion a lot
~find new friends and loves, but never forget the ones that you had so long ago
~you can roam the earth to try and find someone that understands you, but so often its the people right in front of you that know you the best
~don't let anyone tell you that you can't do something
~stand up for what you believe in, even if no one else does
~but don't be so ignorant as not to listen to what others have to say
~always remember to have fun, because when life gets busy and we get older, we so often lose touch of that
~find someplace that is all your own and hold on to it
~when you find someone that you want to spend your life with, hold on to them with all is takes, but don't ever let that love make you let go of what you really want
~love with all your heart
~and don't be afraid to show it

...and someday when you are far from home, and you feel like there is no place in the world that could make you feel whole, remember that family is always a phone call away, a friend is always a few hours on the plane away, and your sister, will always be there waiting for her little brother who needs help.

love,
casey

Congratulations Jame, you deserve the world!

a part of something

When can we stop ourselves from killing all that means the most to us? When we are so far into something, when everyone excepts so much of us, that we can't get ourselves out of something that maybe we should just break off from? Its such a fine line between knowing when to go too far or when to stop. I've always been the girl that didn't let anyone else know all that I'm feeling and to be honest, no one in my life knows what I'm feeling inside right now, because I am ashamed to feel this way and I'm so deeply hurt by what I feel and why I feel it that I cannot tell anyone.

I miss the days when I hadn't a care in the world, when I'd come home at the end of the day and be happy to be home. I guess I am expecting too much from everything in my life and it hurts me to see what I'm doing and what's happening around me. I am lost, so deeply lost and drifting to a place I don't want to be. I am up so high that I can't climb down, and at this point it feels like the only option is just to jump and get it over with. This year has been such an emotional up and down, yes's and no's. And a lot of it is my fault for not knowing when to say no, when to say goodbye.

When did the fun, the simple little things get so lost? And when did I lose the faith that always kept me safe from the world? That faith that held such a place in my heart has disintegrated to so much that I can barely make it out anymore. And at such a young age, I feel like the arguments and the disappointment has aged me to the point where I barely recognize myself anymore.

My life no longer feels right or real and I'm so ready for something to change, to wake up and be happy to start the day again. That magic that used to fill my heart no longer is there, and I want so desperatley to feel like I'm the only girl he sees still, to know that without saying anything, I am the most important part of his life. I want to feel a part of something, and not have to spell it out. I want to be happy again, and know where I am and what I mean to other people. I want so badly to feel a part of something again.

Life Lessons

It's so important in this world to hold your head high and to have a few things to live by when the world seems to pull you down... so to Preston who has a blank slate and has the sky as his limit to live this life to the most...

Life Lessons:

1. Don't ever give up on your dreams. Dream with a full heart and with no boundaries.
2. Find strength in yourself and all you can do.
3. Keep your head held high, even when the world seems to pull you down.
4. Keep faith in yourself above all else.
5. Always put others first.
6. Remember where you are from, but don't let it hinder where you go.
7. Believe in something, whatever it may be.
8. Always find forgiveness with others.
9. Don't judge others for decisions they make, because you may not know the whole story.
10. Respect those that you love.
11. Keep friends close, but family closer.
12. Never give up on the people that have always been there for you.
13. Find yourself, and then love someone else as much as you can.
14. When you find someone that you know is special, hold on to them with all you have.
15. Don't be afraid to cry.
16. Never be ashamed of who you are.
17. Always tell those you love that you love them.
18. Be careful in life, but take risks when you can.
19. Hold on to what you love, because it will pull you through in the darkest hour.
20. And above all, have fun along the ride and enjoy every moment you are alive.

trying

Sometimes people disappoint you. Actually, it happens a lot. Perhaps that's why marriages fail, why friends are lost, or why family sometimes seems to become more and more distant. Disappointment is one of those things that hurts so much more than lies, more than anything anyone can do to hurt someone else. And for some reason, disappointment makes you lose faith in the people that you thought you knew so well.

It seems that lately I have been hurt by disappointment from others. And it is in this disappointment from friends and lovers that has left me where I am now, having nightmares and crying to myself when no one is looking. Sometimes I think about how it used to be, so in love, so happy, so ready to go on forever. And honestly, that scares me now. Forever terrifies me because I want it to be thoughtful and sincere, I want it to be about the little things and about showing each other how much we love. I want it to be about special nights and enjoying time together. I want days with no arguments, and moments to just laugh.

And maybe it's me, maybe I am expecting too much from everyone in my life, but I don't believe in expecting any less than the best, because when you love someone or something, that's what I give.

I miss the icards, the kisses when you get home, tucking me in at night, not arguing with me on everything, smiling at me when you think I'm not looking. I miss all those little things that I fell in love with, the hats, the walks at the riverfront, putting your arm around me, not pushing me to do things, not the constant talking and asking questions. I miss the silence, most of all, I miss the quiet just sitting with you. I miss your faith in me, knowing that I know what I'm doing. I miss you're faith in yourself, and I miss being treated so well.

Life has changed and so have we, and now is the time to figure out if this means what it used to. I know that it will never be the same as it used to be, but we can try to not disappoint each other at the very least.

lost meaning

On the steps of something greater, I stand still taking in all that's happened in the past few years and as I reminisce in memories, suddenly I am very aware of who I am. Suddenly I know how strong I am, how willing and how passionate I am. I will never give into something I don't believe in, and I will never let others tell me what to think. That's not who I am and I will always stand up for what I believe is right and what I believe is fair. Life is not about letting everyone else think every thing for you, it's about making mistakes and learning and finding who you are and what you believe, and when you do, it's about paving your own path.

We must all look inside ourselves and ask ourselves, is the path we're on, truly our own, or are we trying so hard to make everyone believe it's our own, that we lost the meaning of that journey altogether.

chasing hope

What ever happened to the world we used to know? The one where parents would always bail us out, the one when home felt like the safest place in the world, where the biggest thing on our plates was a math test at school. And I guess as we grow, we must realize that our lives only get more complicated, that life only gets harder and harder to continue living. Lately, I just miss feeling safe. I miss that feeling of knowing someone will pull me through, I miss that feeling of a safety net.

I guess I should just believe in myself as my own safety net, but for some reason lately, though I feel totally loved, I also feel a bit like falling. I am falling slowly into something I can't crawl out of alone. And as the real world is approaching so fast, and the real future is right in my reach, I can see my dreams formulating and coming true and some how I am realizing that what if when I get to that moment when it is about to come true, and he doesn't want those things too? What if I get that job offer across the country and suddenly I am alone in that dream? And of course, it's easier said than done, but what if I end up having too much to lose?

I have never been the person to give up my dreams, never the person to let down when there is something I believe in. And I will accomplish my dreams, I will chase those hopes and aspirations of mine, that is who I am. It's who I've always been.

paving a path

Here we are, plunging head first into the real world ahead of us. Some of us are stopped at red lights that will never turn green, others are speeding along at 100 miles per hour, too fast to stop themselves at the other end. And then there are those of us in the middle, stopping patiently at each road sign, yielding to the oncoming traffic, those of us the know where we are headed, but that are taking our time on the scenic route of life. There are those that keep driving, hoping to find that road sign that will tell them where to go and there are those that drive aimlessly, not caring who's path they enter upon.

You know, we are only 21 years old, some younger, some older, but in the scheme of things, life is just beginning, life is no where near the responsibilities we want to place ourselves inside of. What happens when we we look out the window one day and wonder where we would have been, what happens when find out what our dreams are but can never accomplish them? So many of us are so quick to say what we want, to "know" it for sure, and believe me, I have been so many times and as I look back on the past few years since I've been on my own, I can't help but laugh at myself, at how serious I thought I was, at how mature I thought my life was. And still, as I have become more and more on my own, I have no idea what real life is really like, not yet, not just quite yet. And along the way I've found out so much about myself, but I've also lost a lot of who I used to be.

And I think that the losing and the gaining is normal, and its the merging of your old self and your new self that become the piece of who you are, along with what you do and what you stand for. There are moments that dreams seem like they in our finger tips, moments when it seems that nothing could go wrong, moments when you smile because of no particular reason, but do not confuse those moments with what real life is. Because as we grow, real life becomes all the more real, all the harder, and yet, through it all, all the more beautiful. I've come to realize that through the fighting we see each other so much clearer, through the hardships we learn so many life lessons and through the struggles we find which road we are supposed to be on. We find those road signs we need to continue on through growing up and sometimes, we have to follow those signs on our own. Sometimes we cant have someone else to follow us, sometimes we have to be selfish and to do it on our own and I truly believe that doing those things on your own, growing up following your own heart and your own dreams, and finding out about real life is the most important thing in the world.

I have been thinking a lot about all of us lately, about my close friends, about those people that I share this life with, those people that get through each day, whether it's a cosmopolitan after a long week, a Starbucks run in the middle of the day, or a night home cuddling and watching our favorite tv shows, it's those people that understand me best and that have created the journey I'm on. But at the same time, I must do it on my own, as must we all, do it on our own, before we find the road that meets us with someone else. We have to pave our own path before we can join someone else's.

in my heart

Sometimes I miss the desert so much it hurts. Sometimes I miss that sunrise over the gulf, the feel of the sands between my toes and knowing that I was in a culture so different than anyone even knows. Sometimes I will google that town just to remember it, just to see if again, and sometimes, just a memory is enough. Sometimes it's so hard to remember, when only just a few in my life actually remember it too. I will never forget the sound of ARabic, or the way it sounded driving over the causeway to Bahrain. I will never forget the smell of fresh meat cooking on the spits of the city sidewalks, and the way a fresh shwarma tasted. I will always have memories of fresh fish in the front yard, of Kentucky Fried Chicken separated into two sides, one for each gender. There will always be prayer-call burned in to my mind and I will always recognize a mosque.

The thing about it is, no one quite understands how much that place was a part of me and how much I miss it every single day. Not a day goes by that I don't think about it, but tonight for some reason, I miss that place so much where the desert met the sea.

all I need

Sometimes you just need a night alone, a few hours to sit and watch your favorite episodes of Sex and the City, to drink a glass of wine and to look at all those myspace pages of people you used to know. Sometimes a few hours just spent alone, with a blanket and a magazine can be the best hours of the week. It's been so long since I've had a night like this... and the best part about it... as I sat sipping my wine, watching Sex and the City, and curled up in a blanket, was that not only did I need a night like this, but that I'm not alone, not really, because right in the room next door is a great guy that knows that sometimes, this is all I need.

Here and Now

For the first time a long time, I suddenly feel a sense of calm, as if I have done all I can do in this drama within my family and I've tried to help how I can. And the one thing that I have held on to this whole time, is that ring on my finger, that ring that promises loyalty and trust, that ring that promises to be a living reminder of who I am and that one person that loves me.

For the first time since I received my beautiful promise ring from the one person that steals my heart everyday, I honestly know in my heart that what that ring represents, is more than I ever could hope for. And when my day is getting a little bit harder, all I have to do is look down at my finger and and that small diamond in the center of the band and know that no matter what happens, at the end of the day, I get to go home to him and fall in love all over again.

I am in no hurry to get married, and while many around me seem to be pushing toward that all the time, I am quite content with my promise and with the way my life is right now. I am too young to get married, and too stubborn to give up my independence just yet. And while in a few years I may feel quite differently, I am in no hurry to rush that part of my life. I have found him, I know that for sure and I know that I will walk down the aisle to meet him at the other end, but a few years won't change that.

I have found a beauty in waiting and in keeping this promise just a little bit longer. For me, for now, my promise is more than enough. Life is just beginning for me and my love is strong enough to hold on for a few more years. The truth is, I could wait my whole life and be fine with how it is now, being loved in the purest form, being loved for who I am, and with the trust and loyalty and love he gives me every single day.